lolcatsrsawsum

(Out to dinner with my 89 year old Grandma) Waitress(to G'ma): What And what would you like toda...

Mom (very seriously): Have you ever done emus? Me: Have I ever what? Mom: You know, done emus, ...

Grandpa: There are two things wrong with Obama. One, he's an atheist. Two, he's a Muslim!

Grandma: Oh Karl you're such a good housewife! Dad: Housewife? Grandma: How many peanuts?

[Rain is melting snow] Dad: THE SNOW IS RETREATING!

Mom: What if steering wheels were square?

(text msg) Mom: hi love m6m i don't know how to erase

Mom: Look! I'm a penguin! *begins clapping her hands together and barking like a seal*

(Me, about 4 feet from the nearest lamp, mom sleeping) Me: (watching a commercial on tv quietly) ...

Me: Mom, look at this gif Mom: what's a gif? Me: it's kind of like a moving picture Mom: like ...

Dad: Snoring, and then abruptly stops. Mom: Wake yourself up? Dad:(sleeptalking) THE STATUE OF ...

[With my grandparents and my mom watching TV. My mom changes channel to Harold and Kumar Go To Wh...

Dad to the cat: I won't let any walruses eat you now, will I? (We live in Nevada by the way)

Mom (while in a stall at a public bathroom): Oh! I AM wearing underwear!

(My dad had fallen asleep watching a movie and was talking in his sleep.) Dad: It's interesting....

*After telling my mom the joke that goes like this:"guess who got back together after all that s*...

*talking to my Dad online* Dad: I'm wearing underwear on my head. It keeps my ears warm.

*Studying for my Biology final with mom* Mom:Prions cause neuro- neurode- neurogenitals. Me: .....

My Dad: *Randomly* You just gotta love a cop with an umbrella.

*while riding in the car* Mom: this radio is broken Dad: No, it's working just fine Mom: Nope,...

*Mom eating ice cream* Me: What flavor is that? Mom: Chocolate. Me: Oh I thought it was coffee...

Mum: Oh look! Let's watch Most Dangerous Monkeys At Sea! Me: ...That's "moments" Mum... Mum: Oh...

Mom: (to my dad) Why don't you have the dog lick your sack? Dad & Me: WHAT?! Mom: Or whatever y...

Mom (through text): I need you to empty the dishwasher. Me: Umm.. I'm in the same room as you, y...

Mom: Brad, are you meowing??? Me: Umm...Nope Mom: Oh, okay..

(me and my friend are talking about car insurance) Dad: is anyone else getting a boner?

*Nobody has spoken a word and we are all eating lunch* Grandma: And that's another nice thing ...

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