mara.wtf's Favorites

"Giving the Cat a Bath"

A Skilled Frapist Never Misses an Opportunity

Nerdy Pick-Up Lines

Calling out Paul

XYZ

If you're emphasizing the importance of attention to detail in a lecture, make sure your fly is n...

Ariel: The Little Hoarder

Close Enough

What's that light, OMG

Whenever your in your house, alone, and you decide its a nice time to chill on the couch naked, c...

satisfying

Even if you have a very mild and mellow boyfriend, tell him you had a nice day out at the spa bef...

just get squished already...

When playing Angry Birds add a certain level is frustrating you, do not say "F**king pig!" just a...

Wasn't Me

When babysitting your 4-year-old nephew, when he tells you "I know a bad word," believe him. Do N...

I swear I'm 3 years old

Your 3 year old brother can get away with running into the ladies room by mistake. You can not ge...

actually my dog ate it

When trying to write an essay and you find out you can whistle with your pen cap. Do NOT in a lap...

OldEnough

When asking the sales clerk for help selecting sexy lingerie, don't say "it's for my 12-year-old ...

Out of Shape

Don't go for a run when you had coffee earlier that day. With no food in your system. Especiall...

Escargag

Don't scrape off a jelly like substance from your rain pants and then scratch your nose shortly a...

My Bad...

Even if your vegetarian friend taught you how to fart silently, do not, in the name of all that i...

Buyer Beware

If you’re going to complain about where an item you bought on eBay is, make sure the person you’r...

Glassy Eye

If you've just spent the last 2 hours picking up broken glass, you probably shouldnt rub your eye...

Awkward's Granddaughter

When you think your grandpa is running on his treadmill because the radio is on and you are the o...

Strangers in the Night

When you come home early from a trip, it is never a good idea to wake your sleeping wife by sweet...

OhGodItsEverywhere

2-year-olds like to eat Go-Gurt. They also like to paint with it when unsupervised. #LFMF

Enjoy My Pizzicato Technique

For my fellow LFMFers who play the violin, DO NOT repeatedly tap your crappy bow on the floor hal...

Sentimental Soldier

Applicant Is Super Qualified And S**t

The Boss Will Never Notice

It Will Only Break Your Heart

Sexual Harassment Prevention Strategies

Economizing Office Space

Resilient Chips

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