pilohamster

*While teaching grandfather to play mariocart at the family reunion* Grandfather (finally learne...

*14-year-old me with an inflammation of the eyelash* Me: This stye really is bugging me... Dad:...

Family Feud Host: Name a place where you might see a dead body. Mom: Next to Chuck Norris.

At dinner, i cant remember how we got onto the subject but.. Dad: I didn't get my uni degree in ...

working out in the garden on a hot day Mom: im sweating like a hooker at a southern baptist revi...

(while talking about the problems my uncles' families are having) Me (to my dad): Sometimes I fe...

Mom: I can't believe people call tomatoes fruits. They're obviously vegetables! Me: They're frui...

Mom always wants grandchildren (I'm 24). Mom: Hey when are you going to have kids? Me: Um... wh...