psilorder

When you see a dude running away with an old lady's bag remember to ask to the old lady if she's ...

To the friends in your car, hitting a large puddle with your front wheel to make a huge wave is a...

When you decide to shave your big beard off after getting home late, be sure to wake up your girl...

The opossum is not dead and will not appreciate being poked at with a broom. #LFMF

Don't assume your baby is opening her mouth because she wants more strained peas. You might put ...

Milk, mayo, and large quantities of grated cheddar do not a cheese sauce make if you boil it too ...

When you little brother asks "Can I make Ramen Noodles" Always ask "I don't know, can you?" befor...

Yes, your sharpened sword can cut a quarter. No, you should not test this. Yes, you will cut your...

When the cashier at the grocer weighs your singular bulb of garlic @ $7, find a diplomatic way to...

When discussing your personal disdain for Scotch in public, it is not wise to begin the conversat...

When your best friends 7 month old daughter is used to playing with her mothers jewelry, you do N...

Never switch places on the bed with boyfriend when he is used to turning over and punching the al...

Running into the study naked and wiggling your butt to surprise you wife may seem funny. Just mak...

Gentlemen, while you make think it is a time saving measure to pee and brush your teeth at the sa...

Never tell your grandma that you turned the electricity off so you could work on the wiring. Her ...

A Katana is not a suitable substitute for a pair of scissors when opening a package. #LFMF

When looking for your lighter in a dark room, be sure you're not using it as a light source. #LFMF

If your boss asks you if you have a sec, don't say that you have "a lot of secs." #LFMF

When you try to be romantic, think before you kiss your sleeping boyfriend as he might wake up in...

When using the coin operated car wash, be aware that the small spot that you are trying to blast ...

When you hear your neighbors seven year old daughter calmly ask you to get the cops for her, stop...

No matter how prolonged and enthusiastic your endeavours are, it is not possible to remove a shad...

If you're a pastor and you use a wireless microphone, make sure you turn it off when you're not o...

If you are a contact lens wearer, and all but blind without them, take a hint from poisonous anim...

When you realize you haven't seen your co-worker "Jack" all morning, do not go up to your boss an...