psilorder

Hear someone talking in the other room late at night? Before you panic and call police, give a li...

Do not browse FailBlog while holding a sleeping baby. Your shaking from trying not to laugh out l...

Don't comment "in bed" to someone's Facebook update, no matter how much it sounds like a fortune ...

No matter how delerious you are from sickness remember that cleaning spit off the toilet seat by ...

If you see an attractive girl in a yellow dress it may not be a good idea to approach her by sayi...

If you suspect that something you ate might have given you diarrhea, do not eat more of it to see...

If you tell a girl that she looks like the singer of that one unknown Finnish rock band and she a...

If your friend says, "Don't touch that -- it's poison sumac" while on a walk in a park, the prope...

When you & your husband are in the shower, and he says to you, "I like that maneuver," your respo...

When you had a pretty serious car crash and you climb out of the wreck completely unharmed, make ...

When staying up all night studying for an exam, check to make sure it's for the right exam, other...

When in a hurry and needing to get the wrinkles out of your shirt, make sure you take the shirt o...

Seriously. Put on the parking break. Finding your car in the park down the hill and across the st...

It might not be illegal to get drunk en ride your bike home. That still doesn't make it a good pl...

When trying to get intimate with your girlfriend in the shower, don't lick the part of her you ju...

When working with superglue, be aware of where you place the tube and make sure to close it befor...

When you are playing drinking games involving dice, look first before you drink. You might take a...

If your graduate school offers a degree called a sacred theology doctorate, say that. People take...

Always. Take. Off. The. Poptart. Wrapper. The firemen now know you by name. #LFMF

if you're looking for your cell phone in the dark don't use the light from your cell phone to fin...

Never tell your personal trainer you have a hangover and would like a light workout day. He'll re...

correct wording: It turns out that when I got my pet, it was pregnant. Incorrect wording: apparen...

Just because a little kid is wearing round glasses on Halloween, it does not mean they're dressed...

Career Hint: If you are working through accounting technical problems with Coca-Cola Inc, and you...

If your 4 year old niece catches her first fish, don't tell her she is a good fish hooker. She wi...

When texting your girlfriend from a vacation, always spell check, or else you might end up sendin...

If you leave nachos in the oven too long and they catch fire, don't pick up the flaming nachos an...