serenadecapella

Me: I'm going to get the hose to clean the paint off the porch. Brother: What are they going to ...

(Talking to family on Christmas Eve) Pop: Yeah, we'll slide off the road, wreck the car and die....

Dad: Your almost 16, you know what that means right? Me: No, what? Dad: (dead serious) I'll hav...

Dad: SO help me GOD i will slap the next person who puts their finger in my bellybutton

Me: It must be hell getting old. Dad: Just remember something: I made it; keep it up and you may...

Dad: Rusty's coming today. Me: Who's he? Dad: The Fridge Repair man. Me: Why is he coming? Da...

Dad: "You know how to deal with stress don't you? Just like a dog.. piss all over the place and t...

Mom: You know, here's something to think about you. You came from my vagina. I OWN YOU.

While talking about how only boys sat by me in my new class, my Grandma asked: What's the girl ve...