srkrox

Mum: Wow, with veins like that you should take up heroin! Brother: Or I could give blood. Mum: ...

*at department store checking out* Cashier:...and if you'll sign your name here... Mom: My name...

(to my fiance and i before our wedding) Grandaddy: now, i don't believe in premarital sex, but...

Sister: Did someone just call me an idiot? Grandma: No, but we're all thinking it.

Me: I can't eat cheese cause I'm lactose intolerant, I've told you hundred times! Grandma: Well ...

Me: Mom, you have a text message Mom:(Raises it to ear) hello? Me:Mom...it's a text

Brother: "I'm just trying to be annoying." Mom: "Well, you're succeeding. At least we know you'r...

(As i'm walking into the kitchen) Mom (to my dad): "You can't just put ketchup in someones armpi...

Mom: Hey, how about a quickie? Me: What? Mom: Massage! I meant massage!

Mom: your sister was a fat baby, but you were long and skinny- especially your head which was kin...

My Mother: Why are you drawing in your maths book? Me: It's Pi, Mum. My Mother: Where's the pie?

*Look out window* Mom:Oh look, the neighbors got a kazoo. Me:What? No, that's a gazebo. Mom:Do...

My dad is white and my mom is black, and I was wearing a striped shirt that day Dad: "You look l...

Mom: Its such a beautiful day we should go to prison!