thatoneweirdo

If you eat a soft boiled egg for lunch at your desk, do NOT peel the egg open over your keyboard....

When you're in the toy section of Walmart during the Christmas season and your husband shouts to ...

Mom: When you were a baby I swear I'd take a bullet for you in the blink of an eye... Now you're ...

Mom: *sigh* I just want to be a lady of leisure. Me: ... You want to be a prostitute? Mom: No! ...

Mom: (to my Dad) Honey, will you get me a glass of water? Dad: (looks at me) Get her a glass of ...

(after a nasty bout of meds left me on the toilet for far too long) Mom: It's exfoliating your c...

(My 70-something year old grandparents were telling me of a time that they were stalked by a moun...