thefunkling's Favorites
Mom (while in a stall at a public bathroom): Oh! I AM wearing underwear!
(My dad had fallen asleep watching a movie and was talking in his sleep.) Dad: It's interesting... Me: What? Dad: NPR and mangoes. NPR and mangoes. It's interesting.
(In a booth at a restaurant) Dad: This music makes my balls vibrate. Mom: What?! Dad: It's the bass. Can't you feel it? Mom: Not in my balls, no.
*I was cranky on afternoon, and my dad thought that he was being funny* Dad: She got out of bed, hopped on her menstrual cycle and ran me the F**k down.
*while watching a documentary* Grandpa: you know what really burns my ass? Me: what? Grandpa: *indicating waist height* A flame about that high. Me: ._.
Dad: I'm so hungry I could eat a wh*re... Mom: You mean a horse? Dad: Where's the fun in that?
