Going out to party on St. Pat's? Well, check these helpful tips for not looking like a green disaster.
DO: If You Look Like a Leprechaun, You Might as Well Play it Up
Sure, people make fun of gingers, or maybe your beard clashes with green, but guess what. St. Patrick's Day is the day where everyone wants your pot of gold. So flaunt the hell out of it. Also, nice socks, man.
DON'T: Wear Ridiculous Hats
The only reason to wear a hat like that is to have something to puke in after you've had too many beers. And, then it just becomes that puke bag you're carrying around. Knock it off.
DO: Let Kids Look Ridiculous
Sure, they can't drink, but a lot of times kids can act like drunks. So you might as well let them join in on the fun the only way they can: by looking ridiculous, or ridiculously awesome if you're the kid on the right.
DO: If You Can Play the Bagpipes Go ALL OUT!
If you can tickle the pipes (if that's not a phrase it should be) then grab yourself a kilt and some other traditional garb and hit the town. It's the one day a year where the bagpipes don't annoy the hell out of people.
DON'T: Put Kiss Me I'm Irish on Everything
Look, it may seem like a good idea at the time. But, once a stumbling bunch of vomit soaked drunks try to plant smooches on you, you'll regret not being a few feet from a shower.
DO: Be Casual About Your Green
Ok, aside from the drunk in the front, the rest of these folks all have the right idea. Keep it simple. Remember, you have to pass out in these clothes, so they might as well be comfortable.
DON'T: Go Shirtless
Look, I don't care how nice your pecs and abs are, nor do I care what sort of guns you're packing. But, what I do care about is how gross it is to get covered in beer and vomit while not wearing a shirt. So, unless you're partying at your place, put a damn shirt on.
DO: Be Classy as F**K
Look at that guy. He rock's the green suit, bowtie and hat in a way I can only dream of. But if you can pull of a suit, then go find a green one and ROCK IT.
DON'T: Wear Clothing That Will Spill People's Beers
Look, there's a time and place for fashion, but at a crowded party, where your "clover wings" keep knocking beers out of people's hands is a no-no. It's just bad party etiquette.
DO: Look Like an Irish Superhero
Maybe Cloverman isn't the best name ever, but hey, you look like you're out to pummel villains, and drink your weight in beer while you're at it.
DON'T: Impair Your Vision More Than the Booze Will
Look, silly glasses can be funny, but there's a time and place. You don't need another reason to stumble into a bunch of drunks who probably have no qualms about punching you in your big glasses face.