26-year-old niece cleans out aunt's filthy, gnat-infested sink while housesitting, aunt flips out at her: 'I went against her wishes and invaded her space'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 11, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Everyone needs a house sitter every now and again, and it's great if you can keep it in your family/friend circle. That way, you don't have to pay them as much, and you trust them not to steal your belongings. And then in return, they perhaps get a little bit of pocket change and a nice change of scenery. They get to sleep in a new bed and have the house to themselves. Maybe they even get to hang out with your pets. It's a perfect symbiosis. 

But that's only true if both parties hold up their ends of the contract. The house sitter must fulfill their duties while being respectful of the space. No house parties, no science experiments, etc. But the house sittee (sitted? sitter recipient?) must also do their part by making sure their abode is in tip-top shape, ready to house guests. If one part of this goes wrong, the whole thing goes topsy-turvy. 

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  • 01

    AITA for cleaning my aunts disgusting sink even though she told me not to?

    AITA for cleaning my aunt's disgusting sink even though she told me not to? 1 (26F) am currently house and pet-sitting for my aunt. Before she left, she specifically told me not to do the dishes—she knows I'm a little OCD about cleanliness and I think she didn't want me messing with her stuff.
    via u/Educational_Major_64
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10528322304
    via John Edgar

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this story, where a woman left her house in disarray before inviting over her house sitter/niece. But when the niece tried to do the nice thing and help her out a bit, it completely backfired. Read on to see what happened. 

  • 03
    Here's the thing though: when I got there, her sink was full of dirty dishes and absolutely swarming with gnats. I don't mean a couple I mean tons. The smell alone was awful.
    via u/Educational_Major_64
  • 04
    I managed to ignore it the first night, but by the second night I couldn't take it anymore. She didn't even have soap or sponges, so I went out and bought dish soap, scrubbers, and some bleach. I washed all the dishes, scrubbed the sink, bleached the drain, and even set out a DIY gnat trap (apple cider vinegar with dish soap in a Tupperware with holes in the lid).
    via u/Educational_Major_64
  • 05
    Now she's mad at me for cleaning it, saying I went against her wishes and invaded her space. But it was disgusting, and I was living there for a week. So... AITA for cleaning out her sink?
    via u/Educational_Major_64
  • 06

    Commenters came quickly to her defense.

    StAlvis 21h ago NTA Who the h I leaves for a trip with a sink full of dirty dishes?!? Let alone expects someone to baby-sit the mess?
    via u/StAlvis
  • 07
    Resident_Strike7063 · 19h ago Seriously, leaving a biohazard behind for your house-sitter is next-level ride. I'd have caved and cleaned it too!
    via u/Resident_Strike7063
  • 08
    . Grumpy_Lurker · 21h ago YTA: the gnats were her pets! You were petsitting! You were supposed to take care of them, not kill them and destroy their habitat. Kidding, obviously. NTA. Why should you spend a week in that kind of gross environment?
    via u/Grumpy_Lurker
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10528322560
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    pocohugs 21h ago I'm leaning toward NTA. It seemed to become an eye- watering health hazard. And the fact that your aunt didn't have proper cleaning supplies speaks volumes. If she wants people in her home, she could at least have it clean in the first place. It's basic consideration in this context.
    via u/pocohugs
  • 11
    Adorable_Visual_6... . 21h ago NTA. A gnat-infested sink isn't a 'preference,' it's a health hazard. You did what any sane person would do.
    via u/Adorable_Visual_6368
  • 12
    Talkback-8784 · 21h ago NTA. Your aunt knew you were staying over and still left unhealthy living conditions for you. She should be grateful
    via u/Talkback-8784
  • 13
    lycrashampoo • 21h ago NTA, ordinarily I'd judge you TA because she specifically asked you not to clean her dishes, but you're STAYING there?? yeah nah she can't expect you to live in rotting food & bug conditions, if she wanted you not to touch it she needed to get it livable before you got there
    via u/lycrashampoo
  • 14
    TornadoCat4 • 21h ago NTA. Leaving a filthy sink for a person staying at her place is incredibly ride and unsanitary. She ought to be grateful that you cleaned up for her.
    via u/TornadoCat4
  • 15
    GenxBaby2.21h ago NTA and she has given you a perfect reason not to house sit again. Bonus!
    via u/GenxBaby2
  • 16
    . Accidental_Sage - 21h ago NTA. She told you not to clean, but she didn't tell you to live in a filth-covered, gnat- infested NIGHTMARE. You did what anyone with BASIC decency would do: cleaned up the mess. If she didn't want you touching her stuff, she should've made sure her place was actually LIVABLE before asking you to house- sit.
    via u/Accidental_Sage
  • 17
    Honestly, she's lucky you didn't call animal services on her for making her pet live in that kind of environment 24/7/365. That's what I probably would've done the second I saw what was happening there. She should be THANKING you, not complaining.
    via u/Accidental_Sage
  • 18
    pottersquash • 22h ago NTA. You don't have to allow a festering biohazard for....| really can't envision why she is upset.
    via u/pottersquash
  • 19
    Cunned_Boy 21h ago • NTA. Part of caring for pets is providing them with a clean home, which she obviously failed to do. Anyway, any harm to her is temporary. If she wants her sink to be dirty again, then she can simply avoid cleaning it for a while.
    via u/Cunned_Boy
  • 20
    ScarletNotThatOne 21h ago . NTA. You were house-sitting and you had the right to a basic level of cleanliness and livability. If she didn't want you messing with her disgusting unsanitary mess, she shouldn't have left it for you. Also she shouldn't have left you the mess even if she did want you to clean it.
    via u/ScarletNotThatOne
  • 21
    Zoreb1 21h ago . NTA. It was a health hazard. I hope you got paid for sitting. If not, tell her that she doesn't have to worry about you not following her instructions as you won't be pet sitting anymore.
    via u/Zoreb1
  • 22
    Emergency_Showe... 21h ago No. That's beyond gross
    via u/Emergency_Shower_569
  • 23
    OkReward2182 21h ago I'm totally lost on this one. Why didn't your aunt want you to do dishes? May I assume you house sat for her while she's elsewhere? I can see her not wanting to do something like smoke in her place, but dishes?! And you cleaned the sink with swarming gnats every which way?!
    via u/OkReward2182
  • 24
    You're not only NTA, but should be canonized as a saint. Cleaning a sink can get nasty. I don't mean to be r de, but might your aunt be suffering from dementia on some level? I once knew a woman whose 80+ YO mother suffered from Alzheimer's, and getting the woman to shower by a certain
    via u/OkReward2182
  • 25
    date was on a check list for her social worker to avoid an Assisted Living facility. Her mother once punched her college age granddaughter for daring to throw out a rotten tomato. Whether that is or isn't the case, you're definitely not TAH for cleaning up while you're there.
    via u/OkReward2182
  • 26
    Powerful_Change1... 21h ago So you were supposed to house sit a house without a usable kitchen?! This reads like some kind of weird control/test on the part of your aunt. Hard NTA
    via u/Powerful_Change1554
  • 27
    TalkToHoro • 21h ago . NTA. You didn't invade her space, you were doing a favor she requested. Sadly, you're no longer available for such favors and she can find someone else to watch her (eww!) house and pets.
    via u/TalkToHoro
  • 28
    Allaboutbird • 21h ago NTA. You're there for a week. There is no way you should be required to live in unsanitary conditions because of your aunt's weird controlling behavior
    via u/Allaboutbird
  • 29
    Greyhound89 • 21h ago What is wrong w ppl, leaving a smelly science experiment in the kitchen sink for a visitor to tolerate for a week??
    via u/Greyhound89

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family drama cleaning aita clean AITAH house sitting niece reddit story family feud aunt family ocd reddit thread Reddit pet sitting dirty money filthy
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