doom75's Favorites
(After taking a bite of dinner) Me: This tastes funny. Mom: The bottle said the poison was supp...
Me: so my friends and I decided that for senior ditch day we wanted to go visit a couple museums....
Me: Where were you when my water broke, mom? Mom: You were a planned C-section. Dad: Yeah they ...
Me, coming home to find my mom watching 2 girls 1 cup: Mom! WTF?!?! My Mom: I just wanted to see...
(While driving somewhere with my 5 year old sister) Me: Hey, look! The police are coming for y...
(my dad called to wish me a happy birthday) dad: Happy birthday! Do you have a boyfriend yet? ...
No matter how relaxed you may be, NEVER lie down after taking a long hot shower. Your cat might w...
(My wife and I going to the hospital while she's in labor.) Me: Excuse me, my wife is in labor. ...
There is a station on the Brussels Metro called "Kunst Wet." If you are female do not let people ...
My girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll as a fun birthday present. I have tried it and I found the s...
Don't ever wear your hipster-plaid shirt with the poppers if you plan on seeing your 14-month-old...
Mom: (to my Dad) Honey, will you get me a glass of water? Dad: (looks at me) Get her a glass of ...
The correct way to learn about hosting conference calls on the day after mandatory sexual harassm...
Me: Mum, can I use the tuna in the fridge? Dad: What are you going to use it for? Me: (sarcasti...
