doom75's Favorites
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(After taking a bite of dinner) Me: This tastes funny. Mom: The bottle said the poison was supp...
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Me: so my friends and I decided that for senior ditch day we wanted to go visit a couple museums....
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Me: Where were you when my water broke, mom? Mom: You were a planned C-section. Dad: Yeah they ...
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Me, coming home to find my mom watching 2 girls 1 cup: Mom! WTF?!?! My Mom: I just wanted to see...
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(While driving somewhere with my 5 year old sister) Me: Hey, look! The police are coming for y...
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(my dad called to wish me a happy birthday) dad: Happy birthday! Do you have a boyfriend yet? ...
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No matter how relaxed you may be, NEVER lie down after taking a long hot shower. Your cat might w...
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(My wife and I going to the hospital while she's in labor.) Me: Excuse me, my wife is in labor. ...
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There is a station on the Brussels Metro called "Kunst Wet." If you are female do not let people ...
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My girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll as a fun birthday present. I have tried it and I found the s...
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Don't ever wear your hipster-plaid shirt with the poppers if you plan on seeing your 14-month-old...
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Mom: (to my Dad) Honey, will you get me a glass of water? Dad: (looks at me) Get her a glass of ...
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The correct way to learn about hosting conference calls on the day after mandatory sexual harassm...
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Me: Mum, can I use the tuna in the fridge? Dad: What are you going to use it for? Me: (sarcasti...
