The latest from ladonnalombardi77
Mum: we're running like a well oiled... oiled?.. oiled, engine? Me: a well oiled machine. Mum: I knew that, I just couldn't think of the word. I think I have early onset... dalmation? Me: Dementia. *Facepalm*
My Grandpa (As we walk into the furniture store): "Excuse me, do you have any croutons?" Salesman: "A what?" My Grandma: "No, no....he means a fruiton!" Salesman: "Ummm..." Me: "We're looking for a futon..." Salesman: "Oh! That's right over here..."
Mom talking about my bossy aunt: She's learned that she's not in charge in this house. There's only one person in charge around here, and that's the cat.
*upon learning that I like country music* Dad: *makes a cross with his fingers* You are no child of mine. Me: Hey, you're the one who told me we hail from a long line of rednecks. Dad:....Ok, I guess it IS in your blood. You can be my daughter again.
My dad, after killing a cockroach: "The worst kind of roach is a COMMUNIST roach."
Me, playing Angry Birds: Dad, have you ever played Angry Birds? Dad: No, but I've seen the movie. Me: What movie? Dad: You know, the one by Alfred Hitchcock. Me: That's "The Birds" Dad: Yeah, but those birds were angry.
Driving in the car Me: Remember that one time you crashed into the tree? Dad: I didn't crash into the tree, that tree was suicidal and jumped into the road.
