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Married Kama Sutra Is The World's Least Erotic Manual

For centuries, lovers have found inspiration and advice in the ancient text of the Kama Sutra. SNL alum, Simon Rich, and illustrator, Farley Katz, have unearthed a valuable document -- a guide to the positions most common after marriage. "The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual" guide was first published in 2013 and can be classified under either horror or non-fiction, depending on the person reading it. 

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    Text - The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual I The Married Kama Sutra Farley Katz Simon Rich of
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    Cartoon - 00 When the man is loading the dishwasher, and the woman must come over, because he is loading it wrong, it is called "The Dishwasher Position".
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    Text - When the man passes gas in front of the woman, without so much as an apology, it is called "The Shifting of The Standards".
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    Text - When the man and the woman have eaten Indian food, and are too swollen with rice to make conversation, let alone love, it is called "The Beaching of The Whales".
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  • 5
    Cartoon - क; When the man lightly kisses the woman's neck, and the woman tenderly strokes the man's chest, and the child runs into the room screaming, because he heard a scary noise, or some other bullshit, it is called "The Interrupted Congress".
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    Text - When the woman enters the room, and the man quickly closes his laptop, because he has been looking up ex-girlfriends on Facebook, it is called "A Close Call".
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    Cartoon - When the woman needs help moving furniture, and she does not ask the man, but instead hires the local teenager, and the teenager takes off his shirt in front of the woman, and the man watches her watching the boy with a look in her eyes that he has not seen in years, it is called "The Wounded Hippopotamus".
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  • 8
    Cartoon - When the woman cleans an area near the man's feet to imply that he too should be cleaning, it is called "The Prodding Position".
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    Cartoon - deeamstim When the man travels to a sporting event with other men and the woman in his absence takes a long hot bath and drinks wine out of a box iť's called "A Moment's Peace".
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    Text - K*** **** When the toddler is at grandmother's, and the man and the woman have plans to go out, but decide instead to drug themselves with Ambien at 7:30 pm because all they truly crave is the sweet release of sleep, it is called "The Waltz of The Sloths".
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    Cartoon - BROOKS BRO When the woman demands that the man buys some new clothes, because he has not bought new clothes in years, and he physically resists as she pushes him into the store, it is called "The Stubborn Goat".
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    Text - When the man and the woman are at dinner with another married couple whose problems are even worse than their own, and they squeeze each other's hands under the table, and flash each other's grins of superiority, it is called "The Perverse Lovebirds".
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    Cartoon - When the man has his first weekend off from work in a month, and the woman makes him drive upstate to see her sisters, and they all talk about him like he isn't in the room, it is called "Inside The Snake Den".
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    Cartoon - Deo When the woman spends hours at the hair salon and returns home with bangs, and the man has no reaction whatsoever, it is called "The Blindness of The Mole".
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