27-year-old, Kate, demands to be maid of honor at friend’s wedding despite ghosting her after having baby, her friend puts her foot down but Kate slanders her in group chat: “Grow up”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 30, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Ghosting is a common, but unfortunate phenomenon. We can out man on the moon, but we can't stop people from being immature. Communication is the crux of any good relationship, and it can be discouraging to feel like you don't have it with someone you're close to. I'm not a person who usually enjoys hard talks but avoiding them is worse than anything. Getting closure on a situation is the best case scenario, even if it's hard, and even if every fiber of your being is telling you to run away from your problems. 


I wonder what ghosting was like back in the days before smartphones. I guess it meant you were going to write a letter, but the person never got it. It seems like ghosting was a much simpler and easier thing to do. These days, it's teeming with indolence, judgements, and shame for the people who do it. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not inviting my former best friend to my wedding after she ghosted me during her pregnancy?

    Cheezburger Image 10535127040
    via Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Some context: I'm 27F and have been planning my wedding for next spring. My former best friend "Kate" (27F) and I were inseparable from middle school
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025

  • It makes complete sense why OP wouldn't want Kate at her wedding anymore. Of course, having a child is a huge decision and toll on the mind and body. No one is trying to downplay the responsibilities, or the emotional turmoil. Although, sending a text to someone is the bare minimum in a friendship. 

  • 03
    through university. She was my maid of honor in my mind long before I was even engaged. When Kate got married two years ago, I
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
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    took two weeks off work, helped her plan everything, and spent thousands of dollars on her bridal shower and bachelorette.
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 05
    About a year after her wedding, Kate found out she was pregnant. Around that time I got engaged to my fiancé (28M). I asked Kate to be my maid of honor and she
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 06
    said yes. Then she vanished. She stopped responding to texts, ignored calls, and never showed up for my engagement party (her husband came alone and told me
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 07
    Kate wasn't feeling well). I sent her check-ins, offered to bring her groceries or anything she needed, but she never replied.
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 08
    She didn't even like or comment on the pictures we posted from the party or my ring. I figured she was overwhelmed so I gave her space.
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 09
    Six months went by with radio silence. Meanwhile I was going dress shopping, tasting cakes and making decisions I had always imagined sharing with her. She
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 10
    never reached out. It hurt, but I accepted that maybe we'd grown apart. Eventually she sent me a message saying she'd had a rough pregnancy and been suffering from postpartum
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 11
    depre son, that she'd needed to "hibernate" and asked to meet up. I was happy to hear she was okay. We went to coffee and she apologized for ghosting me. She
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 12
    cried and said she felt like a bad friend, but then she asked if she was still my maid of honor. I told her gently that I'd asked another close friend to step in after
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 13
    months of not hearing from her and that my bridal party was already full. She looked shocked and said I should've known she'd be back, that motherhood is hard
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
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    Cheezburger Image 10535126272
    via StockSnap from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    and I should be more understanding. She even hinted that she expected me to host a baby shower for her now that she was ready to socialize again.
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 16
    When I told her I didn't feel comfortable planning something so big again so soon and that I was hurt by her disappearing act, she got upset. She said I was
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
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    Cheezburger Image 10535126016
    via NachoValentia from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    punishing her for having a baby and that I was selfish for "making everything about myself." I reminded her that she had also missed my graduation a few years ago to go on a spontaneous trip
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 19
    with her now-husband, so it felt like a pattern of me being there for her and her not showing up for me. She told me to "grow up" and that she'd pray for me. Now she and some mutual friends are
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 20
    blasting me in a group chat saying I'm being cold-hearted and that refusing to let her be involved in my wedding is petty
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 21
    because she was dealing with postpartum depre s on and couldn't be there.
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 22
    Part of me wonders if I should just sk it up and let her back in my bridal party, but another part. of me feels like our friendship isn't what it used to be and I can't
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 23
    trust her to actually show up or not make it about herself. I do empathize with postpartum struggles, but I also feel like she could've sent a two-line text to let me know she needed space.
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025
  • 24
    So, AITA for not inviting my former best friend to my wedding and for not giving her the maid of honor role back?
    via u/ThrowawayAITA2025

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friendship drama toxic relationships wedding lol love family reddit thread Reddit ghosting funny dating
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