When People Realized Their Kid Was Dumb

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Dec 19, 2019 9:00 PM EST

We can't totally blame kids for being weird and dumb, but we can at least laugh at the stupid things they do, as well as the dumb things we did when we were kids. Strange and interesting things will come from the mind of a child who doesn't exactly know how the world works. They're constantly proving that they're stupid and weird.

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  • 01
    Text - Guns_57 992 points · 3 days ago When we allowed our kids to choose a pint of ice cream each, my son insisted on grabbing the gallon and wouldn't be told differently. We placed it back in the freezer and told him we were going to checkout, so he had one minute to grab a different ice cream or get nothing. As our turn to check out comes, our son approaches with both the same gallon of ice cream as well as a jar of maraschino cherries.
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  • 02
    Text - LJGHunter 822 points · 2 days ago · edited 23 hours "Hey mommy, wanna see a trick?" "Sure honey, show me a trick." Kid runs around in circles to build up momentum, very deliberately crashes head first into the wall then falls down and starts crying. "...good trick, sweetie."
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  • 03
    Text - deanolavorto 755 points · 2 days ago Walked into the bathroom to see my 3 year old girl with the toilet bowl brush in her mouth..so that was disgusting..
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  • 04
    Text - TheLightningCount1 463 points · 2 days ago My sister lost their dog and actually had it cremated. It sits in a locked box on her dresser. One day her 4 year old knocked over a lamp. He said the dog came out of the box and knocked it over. He doesn't quite understand the concept of death yet.
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  • 05
    Text - ellemenopeaqu 15.8k points · 2 days ago · edited . My daughter insists wearing a jacket will make her cold because she only wears it when she is cold.
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  • 06
    Text - the-magnificunt 12.5k points · 2 days ago 3 My toddler watched at least an hour of an animated movie populated entirely by talking animals. Suddenly, a giraffe came onscreen and said something. My kid stood up, pointed at the TV, and angrily yelled, "What?! Giraffes can't talk!"
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  • 07
    Text - Endercraft05 1.1k points · 2 days ago This is about me, and I'm sure my mom almost killed me for this. In 5th grade, I decided it would be a WONDERFUL idea to lock my back back to my desk with a bike lock I brought to school (for some reason) and swallow the key for it. I went to the ER and the lock stayed there the whole year
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  • 08
    Text - Purdygreen 11.2k points · 3 days ago My son, who was 8 at the time, and an only child, carved his very long name into the toliet seat. Then claimed he didn't do it. Lol.
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  • 09
    Text - Jenkem_of_the_Masses 5.8k points · 2 days ago My 4 yo son just the other day spilled his water bottle on the floor. I told him to get paper towels to wipe it up. He does. Then I told him to throw the towels in the trash. He wrings them back out onto the floor before he throws them in the trash. <facepalm>
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  • 10
    Text - MothsAreJustAsGood 5.4k points · 2 days ago When my brother was around six, he decided he wanted to play Tarzan with a cord hanging in his room. However, the cord kept slipping from his hand, so he decided to swing with it around his neck instead. My poor grandmother walked into the room to find her grandchild apparently trying to hang himself!
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  • 11
    Text - scruit 5.2k points · 2 days ago My son, at age 10... I was trying to figure out why my shower was draining so slowly and wound up pulling the drain strainer out. Inside I found a bunch of brown paper goop. It took me a while to figure out what it was. I went to my son and asked him: "Did you tear up a toilet paper tube into little pieces and cram those pieces down the drain in the shower?" "Yes." "Ok. (*brain fries*) How about not?" "Sure."
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  • 12
    Text - RainbowUnicornLeader 5.0k points · 2 days ago S Our daughter. When asked what she wanted to be when she grows up answered: "I want to be a strawberry, but if that's too hard I want to be purple"... The color purple. The fruit strawberry. She was five.
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  • 13
    Text - SiliconSam 5.0k points · 2 days ago When I was a kid, my little brother woke up and thought he saw Frankenstein walking down our hallway in the middle of the night. He took off running in his underwear, out the door, down the block, several blocks really. A couple picked him up maybe 4 blocks away and brought him home. He was on his way to my Grandmother's trailer a good half mile away. Kicker was, the Frankenstein he saw was my Grandmother who was staying with us that night. Took a while
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  • 14
    Text - PearENormal 4.5k points · 2 days ago When my sister was 18 she was planning a trip to California after HS graduation. She spent several days calling banks to get the exchange rate for money because somehow she was absolutely convinced that regular US currency in Pennsylvania was not usable in California. She thought the banks were all lying to her that it was the same money. I am surprised she even FOUND California!
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  • 15
    Text - unnaturalorder 3.8k points · 3 days ago If I can be the kid who made my parents ask this question: I walked into a wall when I was five because I was walking around looking through binoculars backwards. Got these two massive ring bruises around my eyes.
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  • 16
    Text - Hoorayforkate128 2.1k points · 3 days ago A.. My daughter tested as gifted, then got into the bathtub with her socks on that night.
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  • 17
    Text - Mr_Frible 2.1k points · 2 days ago When I caught him peeing in the doorway of his room at the age of 5. His reason? ' Cause I don't want the kitty coming into my room."
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  • 18
    Text - Rosie_skies 1.9k points · 2 days ago When my daughter was around 5 years old, i told her to start putting her toys away. She told me she couldnt because she didnt have any hands..while showing me her hands. O
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  • 19
    Text - gud_spelller 1.9k points · 2 days ago When a sudden rainstorm hit our campsite, my 11 year old rescued a full water bucket from the rain and put it under the canopy to keep it dry.
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  • 20
    Text - prophetcat 1.8k points · 2 days ago When I heard my wife say to my then three-year-old son, "[Name], please stop sniffing all the cars." We were walking through a parking lot.
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  • 21
    Text - ZooBitch 1.6k points · 2 days ago My son has microwaved ramen noodles with no water A FEW TIMES. Just so you know, they are flammable and smoke horribly and turn your microwave an awful yellow color.
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  • 22
    Text - Labadied 1.4k points · 2 days ago My mother always brings up when she asked my brother to turn on the kettle and he answered "shall I make it hot or cold" and I thought I was stupid.
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  • 23
    Text - Not_Fission_Chips 1.3k points · 2 days ago On mothers day, when I was only small, my dad told me for mothers day we would give my mum a lie-in because she had had a stressful week between jobs. Of course, tiny me had no concept of what a lie-in was and assumed my dad said a "lion." Me: "Are we actually getting mom a Lion???" Dad: "Yes, your mum really deserved a lie-in, so we'll give her one this morning." I then proceed to sprint excitedly to my parent's room, climb onto the bed, jump up
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  • 24
    Text - FormedBoredom 1.3k points · 2 days ago Not my kid, but my niece loves crawling around on the floor trying to lick doorstops. When she's not doing that, she actively searches for dust/lint on the floor and tries to devour it before you take it from her.
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  • 25
    Text - strknight 1.0k points · 2 days ago I worked at a daycare for a while. There was a toddler who came in with what looked like rug burns on his forehead and nose. When I asked mom what happened she sighed and said "He has to lick the spots of light on the carpet.
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  • 26
    Text - Blanchdog 1.2k points · 2 days ago One time my Mom asked me what color my eyes were so I started looking around trying to see them.
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funny stories kids childhood lol ridiculous dumb funny stupid children
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