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Roundup Of Posts About Tiny Humans For The Tired Procreators

  • 1
    Cartoon - Me, carrying my kid's scooter back after he promised he'd ride it all the way home ®stamforhrommy
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  • 2
    Text - The Dad O THE DAD @thedad My kids are so open to experiencing culture. They'll try anything, from chicken tenders at a Mexican restaurant to chicken tenders at a Mediterranean restaurant
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    Text - I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.
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    Text - Kid: mommy, how come my dinosaur doesn't roar anymore and all my tractors stopped making digging noises? Me:
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  • 5
    Text - Follow Bo Davis @BoRyan11 [Tucking in my 4 year old] 4YO: Daddy?? Me: Yes buddy? 4: We don't fart on friends. M: Good advice buddy.
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    Text - Follow Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom *Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go. RETWEETS LIKES 1,562 2,681 11:08 AM - 5 Nov 2015
  • 7
    Food - Daddy Yesterday at 3:55am e Okay so the Mum of the Year award most definitely does not go to me today.. 22e Wandered down to the market and Ava begged me for some "smiley face" pasta she saw. So I bought it, cooked it for the girls for lunch today. Thought it looked a bit odd, re-looked at the bag and IT'S ONLY BLOODY PENIS PASTA How could I not even realise even while cooking it?! So my 3 year old and 7 month old are currently sat eating a bowl of dicks for their lunch. Life. 1, Share 2.
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  • 8
    Junk food - My kid leaving Target after I told him 28 times he couldn't have an ICEE
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    Text - "YOU'RE STILL A ROCKSTAR," I WHISPER TO MYSELF AS I TURN OFF PAW PATROL AND GET IN BED AT 9 PM.
  • 10
    Text - Jon @ArfMeasures Me: The kids haven't eaten their sandwiches Wife: ok just throw them out [Later] Me *helping the kids pack a suitcase* look l'm as surprised as you are 16:40 · 14/05/2019 · Twitter for Android 3,728 Retweets 20K Likes
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  • 11
    Text - Marcy G @BunAndLeggings Читать 3yo: Mom, did you eat all the penis? Me: 3yo: You like penis, mom??? Me: Зуо: Me: Зуo: Me: PEANUTS! Yes, I ate the peanuts. 3yo: You like penis. Перевести твит 08:07 -25 мая 2019 г.
  • 12
    Text - Tweet Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom Me: Mommy just needs a little space right now. Child [perched on top of my head]: Why? 4:26 PM · 5/20/19 · Twitter for iPhone ili View Tweet activity
  • 13
    Snow - a real dinosaur @SparkyROAR · 1d I walk out of Target to the scene of a child laying motionless on the ground. I asked what was wrong and the dad said "He's upset his gloves match his jacket."
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  • 14
    Cartoon - RAISING A TODDLER IS LIKE... Chomlifekcapingireal.com Any particular reason you took your pants off?
  • 15
    Text - PRO TIP: NAPPING If you want to nap while the kids are home, just say "Wake me up in 30 minutes so we can clean the house.' They will then do literally anything to avoid waking you.
  • 16
    Text - [playing Hangman] son: 3! me: It has to be a letter son: Oh. 9! me *looks at wife* Are we cousins?
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  • 17
    Text - N © 4G+ 14:00 64% Marissa @natsmama75 My toddler was about to hit her head on a bar at the playground so I told her to duck and she quacked at me. And then hit her head.
  • 18
    Text - start blowing bubbles for your kids, you basically have to fake your own death to stop. If you FB/Jhe Mom Lifo Uncensored
  • 19
    Text - Does it count as clubbing if you're 36 and you sit in your car in front of your house for an extra 5 minutes with no kids and a good song on kinda loud?
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  • 20
    Morning - Months are just dog years for babies CHANGE MY MIND

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