Random And Hilarious Observations On "Cats" Movie

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    Text - 07:47 1 Messenger er December 26 at 20:50 · E Just finished watching/surviving "CATS: The Movie" with friends. I'm not even going to try and review it. Instead, I am just going to share random observations from throughout the film: - Audience of roughly 25 people. For "Cats," apparently this is a packed house. - The first cats appear onscreen. Holy crap. I have never done acid. Is this what it feels like? -THIS MOVIE HAS DANCING COCKROACHES. WHY GOD? AND WHY DO THEY HAVE FACES? - 10 minut
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    Text - How did they talk the cast into this? Seriously, Dame Judi Dench looks pissed off and ready to fire her agent from the moment she enters. - Also -- is Old Deuteronomy the 'Cats" version of Buffalo Bill in "Silence of the Lambs?" Because she is wearing a fur coat. Which means she is wearing the skin of another cat. Which means we need to put ... some lotion in the basket. - As soon as Rumpleteaser appeared, I flashed back to "Team America: World Police." Suddenly that monologue about going
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    Text - - Jennifer Hudson is singing and emoting her heart out on "Memory,' and trying her best to bring some actual gravitas to this movie. If only someone would give her a snot rag. Seriously. Guys. Get her a tissue, for the love of god. - Sir lan McKellan. Lapping milk out of a bowl in the closet. I... I don't even know what to say. - The scale of the cats in this movie makes no sense. One minute the cats are half the height of a human doorway. Next they are so small that they are tap- dancing
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    Text - - I kid you not movie like Rocky Horror and yelling things at the screen. "Try again!" they shout at Mister Mistoffeles, after his fourth straight attempt at magic fails. And when he finally pulls the magic feat off, the whole theater bursts into applause and hooting. by now, this audience is treating the - Covered in fur and snarling, lan McKellan just pushed another cat off of a boat. Someone in the audience yells "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Whole theater loses it. - Jennifer Hudson, what are
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    Text - - A few years ago, Idris Elba complained that he hated working on the Avengers movies because he felt they were beneath his dignity. That just popped into my head as I watched him.dangling from Jennifer Hudson's birdcage while wearing a skintight fur suit and growling. No reason. - DAME JUDI DENCH, STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL, IT'S CREEPING ME OUT WHEN YOU STARE AT ME LIKE THAT WHILE LECTURING ME THAT A CAT IS NOT A DOG - At last, the credits. Wait -- "Produced by Amblin Entertainment?"
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    Facial expression - - It is over. And all I want to do is go home, pet and cuddle Jackie, Danica and Max, and beg for their forgiveness. I hope they do not kill me in my sleep for my species having inflicted this film upon theirs. - And yet at the same time, I am strangely impressed by the sheer bollocks that it must have taken to put something this totally bonkers on the screen. For all its faults -- and oh, there are so.many faults a certain a movie that waves its freak flag there is


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