Dad Tweets The Funniest Things His Daughters Say About Animals

James Breakwell is the father of four daughters and two pigs. His everyday routine includes some very interesting conversations he has with his daughters. We have collected the ones revolving around dragons, horses, spiders, and other animals. Kids do say the darndest things ever. 

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  • 01
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: There's a spider in my room! Me: It won't hurt you. 5: Did the spider tell you to say that? 5:39 pm · 11 Feb 2020 · Twitter for Android 320 Retweets 4.1K Likes
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 02
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: I need more dinosaur books. Me: Why? 5: For when they come back. 4:47 pm · 29 Jan 2020 · Twitter for Android 3.7K Likes 244 Retweets
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 03
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Do dogs dream? Me: I think so. 5: About what? Me: Getting pet. 5:I can make their dreams come true. 5:58 pm · 14 Feb 2020 · Twitter for Android 220 Retweets 3K Likes
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 04
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Horses can run really fast. Me: Yeah. 4: But they can never roller skate. Now I feel bad for horses. 7:53 pm · 13 Feb 2020 · Twitter for Android 78 Retweets 1.8K Likes
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 05
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Do I always have to clean my room? Me: Always. 5: Not if dinosaurs attack. Me: Especially if dinosaurs attack. 6:22 pm · 3 Jan 2020 · Twitter for Android 144 Retweets 3.2K Likes
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 06
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: Time for school. 5-year-old: What if l'm a dolphin? Me: It's still time for school. 5: *angry dolphin noises* 4:50 pm · 4 Feb 2020 · Twitter for Android 166 Retweets 3K Likes
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 07
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: What kind of vet helps big animals? Me: How big? 5:I need one for my dragon. 10:59 pm · 25 Jan 2020 · Twitter for Android 155 Retweets 2.8K Likes
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 08
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: We don't have enough horses. Me: We don't have any horses. 5: *nods because I made her point* 8:08 pm · 24 Jan 2020 · Twitter for Android 176 Retweets 3.3K Likes
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 09
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: What animal is Gonzo? Me: What do you think? There are no wrong answers. 5: A duck. She found a wrong answer. 10:45 pm · 20 Jan 2020 · Twitter for Android 2.5K Likes 94 Retweets
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 10
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Are bears real? Me: Yes. 4: Oh. Me: 4: Did you remember to lock the door? 3:58 pm · 15 Jan 2020 · Twitter for Android 190 Retweets 4.4K Likes
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 11
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Can snakes climb stairs? Me: I don't know. Why? 5: Me: WHY?! 5:53 pm · 13 Dec 2019 · Twitter for Android 7K Likes 536 Retweets
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 12
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: The bad news is a pig tore up your backpack. 9-year-old: What's the good news? Me: You can tell your teacher a pig ate your homework. 11:57 pm · 19 Nov 2019 · Twitter Web App 3.2K Likes 137 Retweets
    via /XplodingUnicorn
  • 13
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 7-year-old: Dad? Me: Yeah? 7: How do I know which spiders are normal and which ones are radioactive? Me: Maybe don't let any bite you just to be safe. 11:07 pm · 12 Nov 2019 · Twitter for Android 4K Likes 186 Retweets
    via /XplodingUnicorn

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