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Tweets and Memes from the Quarantine

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    Text - Page County Sheriff's Office Mar 13 at 7:42 AM • O Due to the coronavirus, the Sheriff's Office is asking that all criminal activities stop until further notice. Thank you for your anticipated cooperation in the matter. We will update you when we deem it's appropriate to get on with yo bad selves. Happy Friday Folks! We will get through this. 2.4K 252 Comments
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    Text - Mar 21 at 12:37 AM • O TRUE STORY. I went to Walmart today for cat treats, they were out of human food. As I stood in line some lady made a smartass remark to me for coming to the store just for cat treats. I told the lady I had to fatten up my cats before I eat them because all you assholes are hoarding the food. Her little girl started crying. I didn't even feel bad. Next time mind your business.
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    Text - soul nate @MNateShyamalan "i can't go because of coronavirus" - whiny - boring - weak "i've sworn an oath of solitude til the blight is purged from these lands" - heroic, valiant - they will assume you have a sword impossible to check if you really have a sword because of coronavirus 10:13 AM Mar 17, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 17.9K Retweets 52.7K Likes
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    Text - Regina G. Blac Yesterday at 6:52 PM · O They shutting down nfl and the nba can they shut down PS4 and Xbox too pls e O Like Comment A Share Please select a problem to continue You can report the post after selecting a problem. Nudity Violence Harassment Suicide or Self-Injury False News Spam Unauthorized Sales Hate Speech Terrorism Incorrect Voting Info Something Else
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    Poster - 6' Practice Social 5' Distancing stae It is recommended that you keep a 4' distance of 6 feet between you and everyone else. 3' Joey Ramone is 6'6" tall. So stay about one 2' "Joey Ramone Height Unit" away from other people. 1' Romees Rameas Romees Ramees Romes DEATHOROW DEATH ROW DEATHO ROW DEATHOROW DEATH ROW
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    Organism - Quarantine Schedule: 6:30- dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00- wrestle with my self-loathing. I'm booked. If I bumped the loathing to 9:00, l'd have time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. VIA 9GAG.COM
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    Text - Jesse Case @jessecase The Vatican canceled Easter. You know how much stuff has to suck for the Pope to be like "you know what, this year Jesus stays dead". 3:35 PM · 17 Mar 20 · Twitter Web App
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    Adaptation - Social distancing is going pretty well so far. Found some great reading material at this cabin too, so l'm set for a bit
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    Text - Adam Bedford @adambedders Our 5 year old seems to have deemed himself the local virus warden. Over the fence to our neighbour: 'JEAN YOU NEED TO GO INSIDE' 'Okay I will in a minute' 'YOU'RE OLD AND THERE'S A VIRUS' I'm not that old thank you' 'HOW OLD ARE YOU JEAN?' I'm 68. 'THAT IS NEARLY 70 JEAN.'
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    Text - Harry Moroz @hrmoroz For the average American the best way to tell if you have covid-19 is to cough in a rich person's face and wait for their test results 11:35 AM - 3/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 11
    Leaf - Well, old girl, you're about to have the busiest month of your life INSTANT POT
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    Text - not melba @Melbreezy_ Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic??? Bitch read the room 10:37 PM Mar 20, 2020 - Twitter for iPhone 29.8K Retweets 137.9K Likes 27
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    Text - Kate Bevan @katebevan Shout-out to the nation's cats, who are dealing with the horrifying realisation that their humans are going to be at home for the foreseeable, interrupting their naps, sitting on their sofas and generally disrupting their daily routines of snoozes and Important Cat Business.
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  • 14
    Musical instrument accessory - The CDC has developed a simple test to determine if you are at risk of developing complications from coronavirus. Please examine the following two items. Do you understand the connection between them? If your answer is yes, you are in the at-risk category. Please self-isolate.
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    Text - Thoughts of Dog® @dog_feelings the human has been working from home the last couple days. and every so often. they let me participate in the video calls. all the other humans cheer when they see me. i am the only thing holding their company together 11:52 AM · 3/10/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Brunette Bohemian @RaeOfLite Hi. Yes, it originated in China, but the technical term is Covid-19 Your mom originated from the back of a Buick Skylark, but we call her Judith Don't be mean.
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    Text - Quinoaluigi @synthandlasers People: "I want 2020 to be like the roarin' twenties!" Earth: "Alright, infectious disease is spreading." II People: "No, not like that." Earth: "The US stock market is tanking." People: "Wait..." Earth: "LMAO Bars can't be open anymore." 1:10 AM · 17 Mar 20 · Twitter for Android
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    Text - lil cough @_RyanKirk This quarantine is affecting everyone in the work force, but it especially sucks for men We're losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing
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    Text - jai @bootangina my overprotective catholic mother just told me this lockdown is God's way of telling me I go out too much.. sorry everybody this entire pandemic is my fault for not staying home MY BAD 10:21 PM Mar 19, 2020 from Los Angeles, CA Twitter for iPhone 133.9K Retweets 1M Likes
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  • 20
    Text - Ryan Brooks @ryanbrooks A bar in my neighborhood is delivering entire liters of their premixed margaritas for $25 and you get a complimentary roll of toilet paper with your purchase and it's really starting to feel like there are no rules anymore
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    Text - When this is all over, ele we are throwing the biggest St.Patrick's Easter de Mayo of July party anyone's ever seen. ele
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    Text - Molly Tolsky @mollytolsky Pro-tip for couples suddenly working from home together: Get yourselves an imaginary coworker to blame things on. In our apartment, Cheryl keeps leaving her dirty water cups all over the place and we really don't know what to do about her. <>
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  • 23
    Text - Mar 17 at 12:12 PM • O Hot take on COVID-19:I was in town picking up a few things today, when I noticed a homeless man who was clearly not feeling well. I approached him and asked if there was anything he needed in this hard time. He looked at me for a moment and, with tears in his eyes, he asked me for "about $3.50". It was about that time that I noticed that it wasn't no damn homeless man with COVID-19, it was an eight-story crustacean from the paleozoic era. I said "get outta here you

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