Twitter Thread: Lizard Creates Hilarious Havoc In Garden

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mattstaff
May 8, 2020 10:00 PM EDT

Graham doesn't play by the rules. Clearly, Graham is busy enjoying life to the fullest. We just need to make sure that Graham doesn't get behind the wheel after knocking back all that Coors. 

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  • 01
    Text - Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama So. We had a massive infestation of pill bugs who ate our zucchini twice. So we put out beer traps (they go to drink the beer, they fall in.) Then a mystery occurred....
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  • 02
    Text - Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 21h v Replying to @baddestmamajama We put the traps in our veggie bed, dug into the soil. They were in fact catching a ZILLION pill bugs. Literally FULL TO THE BRIM by morning. And then the traps started to... Move.
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  • 03
    Soil - Jessica Ellis O v @baddestmamaja... · 20h We would put them out during the day, fine. Go to bed, fine. In the morning--
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  • 04
    Soil - Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 20h Alright. So something was happening to the cups. They were disappearing. But to where?
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  • 05
    Terrestrial plant - @baddestmamaja... · 20h Jessica Ellis O v *Enhance Image* *Mystery Deepens*
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  • 06
    Text - Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 20h Well, it had been extremely windy the night before, and blowing East. Debris all over the yard. Maybe just the wind blew it into the blueberry bush, knocking out all the bugs and beer??
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  • 07
    Organism - Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 20h ...but it wasn't windy last night. And yet.
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  • 08
    Text - Text - Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 20h v Something. ..something.. Is carefully removing all of the bugs, all of the beer, and burying the cups amongst my prized blueberries. And We have a suspect. We have a suspect.
    via @baddestmamajama
  • 09
    Text - Text - Jessica Ellis O v @baddestmamaja.. · 20h Now you never know who is using your garden when you leave it. In the house I grew up in, which backed a creek, we had a myriad of nocturnal visitors, from a river otter and opossums by the dozen to an unfortunate snake whose HEAD we found on the deck one morning.
    via @baddestmamajama
  • 10
    Text - Font - @baddestmamaja... · 20h Jessica Ellis O But in LA, we've never really seen much in the yard beyond birds and a snail or two. 8 foot high fences and we're enclosed on the property. Whatever was getting in, it was rather sneaky
    via @baddestmamajama
  • 11
    Text - Text - Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 20h v And then last night... 4 27 59 2,122 Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 20h We found out...we weren't alone 0:16
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  • 12
    Text - Lizard - Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 20h v This Snakey looking fellow is an alligator lizard, who seems to be living in our tomatoes. And apparently, every night this week, has been feasting on drunken pill bugs, washing it down with Coors, and dragging the cups into the blueberries for dessert.
    via @baddestmamajama
  • 13
    Text - Text - @baddestmamaja... · 20h Jessica Ellis O I don't know if Pilsner is good for Graham (we’ve named him Graham) so I believe the feasts will come to an end, but it just goes to show you never know who will show up when you put out beer. And also we got a drunk lizard to deal with.
    via @baddestmamajama
  • 14
    Text - Text - Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 14h A LOT of you are advocating for enabling Graham's alcohol habits and need you to take a look at your lives. I don't even know if he's 21. Or a CO. 149 27 384 16.9K Jessica Ellis O @baddestmamaja... · 12h v Pertinent reminder that I like being paid to write and you can HIRE me to do so! For money! And more Graham content!
    via @baddestmamajama

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