Fresh Tweets For Your Mindless Entertainment

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Jun 24, 2020 6:00 PM EDT

As anyone who has been on Twitter knows, it's truly incredible what people can do with a 280 character limit. They can rant. They can rave. They can bully people over politics or write something beautiful that will make you cry. But our favorite tweets make us smile and sometimes (if we're really lucky) laugh. These tweets mostly fall into that category. 

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  • 01
    Room - Lucy Nicholls @LucySomerset Monday morning's reason for apologising during a work call: this duck walked into my kitchen.I do not own a duck. 3:48 AM · 6/22/20 · Twitter Web App
    via anlyin
  • 02
    Text - Lucy Nicholls @LucySomerset I'm embarrassed to admit that I also have this rat, who keeps coming to wash his hands in this bowl of water. I tried to put a peanut-laden trap down, & a badger ran off with the whole rat-trap last night. The animals are running some kind of racket. My cats are fired btw.
    via anlyin
  • 03
    Face - Lawrence Hamtil @lhamtil It's always the ones you least expect Os Orlando Sentinel O @orlandosentinel · 8h Man with machete tattoo on face accused of machete attack bit.ly/3e94mQe 1:05 PM · 6/18/20 · Twitter Web App
    via anlyin
  • 04
    Product - T. Kyle aO @tkylemac I... don't hate it? eat-in W
    via anlyin
  • 05
    Text - Alexandra Haddow @MissAHaddow If you're having a bad day, my sister was on a zoom hen do last night where the bride-to-be got so drunk she shaved her head on screen 12:36 · 07 Jun 20 · Twitter for iPhone
    via anlyin
  • 06
    Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal Last night my son asked if l'd ever heard of a pillow fight. I said I had not, so he explained the premise & asked if I would play. I awkwardly held a pillow as he gave me pointers through a smile that lit up the room. My first swing took him off his feet. He never saw it coming. 12:14 PM · 6/23/20 · Twitter Web App
    via anlyin
  • 07
    Text - Serendipity @serendipitydon1 A full circle moment. The big grey tomcat comforting the little orange stray kitten in 2020 was once a little grey stray kitten being comforted by a big orange tomcat in 2012. 5:41 PM · 6/21/20 · Twitter for Android
    via anlyin
  • 08
    Text - Professional Worrier @pro_worrier_ My favorite part of the day is playing the "shit what did I buy now" game when I see an Amazon box on my porch. 2:01 PM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for iPhone
    via anlyin
  • 09
    Text - Heather De-Quincey @H_DeQuincey | think we need to stop calling it 'working from home' and start calling it 'living at work' 3:05 AM · 6/22/20 · Twitter Web App
    via anlyin
  • 10
    Muscle - Ron Iver @ronnui_ What I think l'l| look like after going for one run 8:14 AM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for Android
    via anlyin
  • 11
    Text - WTFDAD @daddydoubts Sure horror movies are scary but has your toddler ever come up to you and said they didn't do it on purpose? DO WHAT ON PURPOSE?! 10:48 AM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for iPhone
    via anlyin
  • 12
    Text - Divergent Mama @Divergentmama The response you get when you say "haha l'm not a stripper" when paying with a bunch of one dollar bills is way different at 43 than 23. 12:51 PM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for Android
    via anlyin
  • 13
    Technology - and 2 St etro Adam Aston @adamgreattweet ont First day back at work and there are a number of new rules because of the pandemic No Nut Zone
    via anlyin
  • 14
    Text - ♡ Kiyha @justky1018 Curing a slight hangover with a mimosa doesn't make me an alcoholic it just makes me smart 6:31 AM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for iPhone
    via anlyin
  • 15
    Text - nash™M @nash_official friend: how are you holding up? me: [smushing an entire pint of ben & jerrys between two poptarts] doing some self care 5:33 PM · 6/23/20 · Twitter Web App
    via anlyin
  • 16
    Text - Batty @BattyMclain My wife asked me if she had any 'annoying' habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation. 8:44 AM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for iPhone
    via anlyin
  • 17
    Text - He Called Me Quarantinehorn @WhatsAGreenhorn Every degree above 72 is a personal attack against me 4:56 PM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for Android
    via anlyin
  • 18
    Face - Dingus Khan @The_Dingus_Khan When true crime moms and Pinterest moms become friends, some weird shit goes down. Testeraay at 3.40 PM' 1:45 WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR CHILDREN'S TEETH Watch : 3.2K The Anna Show Follow Yesterday at 3:46 PM O WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR CHILDREN'S TEETH : 3.2K 10:51 AM · 6/23/20 · Twitter Web App
    via anlyin
  • 19
    Vehicle - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix · 1d My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay. 119 271,075 11.1K Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix · 3h [parade of beeping and honking Amazon Prime trucks drive by my house in an appreciation parade] 272 63 Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix · 7h AHI SEE WE ARE BACK TO OUR REGULAR SCHEDULE. ups Services ♡ 226
    via anlyin
  • 20
    Text - Niccole Thurman @niccolethurman oops.....l sat on my bed to look at something on my computer. now l'm lying down. will I stand up again today? Honey, only time will tell! + ++ + 3:31 PM · 6/23/20 · Twitter Web App
    via anlyin
  • 21
    Text - The Mom Who Knew Too Much @Gilapfeffer Thave 2 modes when it comes to maintaining my garden foliage: 1. Neglect for 2 weeks until they shrivel up and die 2. Run the hose at 8 PM and forget about it till waking up the next day so the plants drown to death. Same result but one has a much lower water bill. 12:39 PM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for iPhone
    via anlyin
  • 22
    Text - your other mom @difficultpatty "I'm playing with my friends!" | shout to my kids when they ask what l'm doing on my phone. 8:45 PM · 6/23/20 · Twitter for iPhone
    via anlyin
  • 23
    Text - Rage Cook @RageCook Sewing supervised by the void irtuosa 150 IINA Made in Switzeriand 1. 10 11 12 p g a n 15 76 18 19 20 21 www.sewsteady 5:28 PM · 6/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone
    via anlyin
  • 24
    Text - Mavis Clow @ferret7studio Replying to @LucySomerset Thad a similar experience with a chicken. She followed me into my home. No idea where she came from.
    via anlyin
  • 25
    Text - Samantha Matt @SamanthaMatt1 Idk why people are against wearing masks. Masks protect you from coronavirus yes, but they also protect you from running into people you know in public. Add sunglasses and you are literally in disguise. It's safe to do anything, anywhere, even in your hometown. This is my dream
    via anlyin
  • 26
    Text - Ashley Fern O @disco_infernO "Should I workout or drink?" | say to my dog as I pour a glass of wine
    via anlyin

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