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01
"You know what they say: “Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice... strike three.”"
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02
"Hi I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
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03
"People say I am the best boss. They go, “We’ve never worked in a place like this before. You’re hilarious.”"
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04
"Guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working."
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05
“Hey Mr. Scott! Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do to make our dreams come true?”
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06
"The worst thing about prison was the was the dementors!"
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07
"Well, there has been a lot of talk about new ideas today. Well, new ideas are fine, but they are also... illegal, because they are a form of ageism. What? Yes, I am right."
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08
"Coffee is a drug. It is quite literally a drug. It speeds people up. It’s not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the 80’s before people knew how bad cocaine was…gahhhh, man did they move paper!"
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09
"Today’s spring cleaning day here at @dunderkitten. And yes I know it’s January. ...But, if you do your spring cleaning in January, guess what you don’t have to do in the spring? Anything."
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10
“Sure, but we should get to the bottom of this. Let's pick a rumor and trace it back to the beginning.” ...”I heard it from Michael.” “Michael...”
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11
"Dwight, you ignorant slut!"
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12
"“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. - Wayne Gretzky” - Michael Scott "
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13
"Happy Halloween!"
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