The Funniest Screenshots We Found This Week

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    Text - Patrick @lunch_enjoyer 2029: My tv starts flashing red with an alert because I lied to Amazon Prime about how many people are in my living room watching Trolls 5. They send 15 cops in riot gear and they kill my dog. Im not allowed to shop at Whole Foods for two weeks.
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    Food - Before After British egg producers saddened by Google salad emoji update British egg producers have expressed disappointment at the removal of the oval-shape. A The Register 9 hours ago O this is, without a doubt, the funniest headline and photo combo i've ever seen
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    Text - 1dietcokeinacan Follow I hate when u say "deja vu" out loud n someone ur with goes "what was it?" Like bitch we all can barely communicate the most straightforward ideas without utter confusion and chaos..u rly believe it is .... within my capacity to explain exactly what fleeting moment of temporal embodiment made me feel like a vague reincarnated ghost girl trapped in a child's dream??? Surely u are mistaken.
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    Text - scaliepost-generator Follow Inflation is honestly the strangest shit. Like someone rn is thinking of getting blown up like a balloon and they've got a boner. a comedianthrax i thought this was about economics at first and that second sentence hit me like a freight train 243,811 notes
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    Text - Gwdihw e @youwouldknow Bollocks, I bet shagging Boris is like having a binbag full of custard placed gingerly on top of you, where it sort of wobbles around till it eventually falls off with an unnerving wet slap & drags itself away mumbling incomprehensible bullshit LIVE LOS ANGELES WORLD EXCLUSIVE WORLD EXCLUSIVE JENNIFER ARCURI: MY SIDE OF THE STORY PM tan not answered claims about whether he had an affair with Arcuri O DAILY STAR · 3 MIN READ Boris Johnson's 'lover' Jennifer Arcuri 'b
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    Organism - Daily Star STAR @dailystar DAILY Raccoons raid bank and get away with almond cookies in bizarre biscuit-based heist dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-new... 4:25 PM · 26 Oct 20 TweetDeck
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    Text - chaoticlesbianmarie Me at 3 am: i should probably get some sleep My Brain: THERE ARE GAMES TO BE PLAYED FOOD TO BE EATEN GO GO GO BE THE SPAGHETTI GREMLIN YOU ARE
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    Bird - My new thing is finding birds that look like they are twice divorced thors bet they smell like hairspray and cigarettes
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    Text - rishi! @rishipuff i feel so bad when i overtake an old person on the sidewalk like man i really didn't mean to flex on you with my youthful stride
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    Text - initiala Killed ANOTHER FREAKING CANADIAN SOLDIER. How do they keep getting into my house?! Stop! initiala It occurs to me that people might not know that this is another name for a mayfly. I am not being infiltrated by humans from Canada.
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    Text - candyfroggy me: *is sad* some random shiny thing with no function or monetary value half buried in the dirt at the bus stop: me: oh ho HOOO dictator-woodle-dee-doodle we're all just crows with rights and anxiety


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