Johnny Rotten Roasted For Getting Genital Flea Bites After Squirrel Rescue

We know. This title belongs in r/brandnewsentence. But today's weirdest news comes courtesy of Johnny Rotten, the frontman of legendary punk band the Sex Pistols. It seems the 64 year old had befriended some neighborhood squirrels and welcomed the critters into his Venice Beach home. Unfortunately, their thank you was a lot less wholesome than his fostering attempt. "I looked down there this morning at my willy and there's a f–ing flea bite on it," Rotten explained to the UK's Daily Star. "The bites, wow, last night was murder because of it. The itching too. It's such a poxy thing to get caught out on.The only way around it, because I'm not going to blame the poor little squirrels, is to Vaseline my legs." "I just hope they don't get the wrong idea," he continued. 

The experience sounds dreadful - and people on Twitter are absolutely roasting the singer's itchy experience. Johnny Rotten's outspoken support for Donald Trump and MAGA have already been under fire for being completely antithetical to his punk past - and it seems that fans that have turned their back on him are relishing the opportunity to mock his misfortune. However you feel about this bizarre story, it's definitely proof that 2020 has a lot more tricks up its sleeve.

 

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