Tumblr Story: The Terribly Misunderstood Evil Chancellor Traytor

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mattstaff
Dec 19, 2020 11:00 AM EST

This hilarious Tumblr story centers on a childhood game that a couple kids would play with their respective action figures. Unfortunately, within that league of action figures was a horribly misunderstood lad named Evil Chancellor Traytor. The poor homie would regularly fill out his diary with his various wholesome escapades, while other action figures in the community were busy badmouthing him behind his back. The Chancellor just couldn't overcome his name. It's a true shame. 

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  • 01
    Text - avian-american •.. S probablyjustamagpie Follow themanslayer Follow i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous"
    via u/literaly_bi
  • 02
    Text - feynites Follow When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor'. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, 'chancellor' just came with the word 'evil' in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those lines. Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off
    via u/literaly_bi
  • 03
    Text - nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer'. The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city
    via u/literaly_bi
  • 04
    Text - The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the 'evil' in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler - or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people. But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who wou
    via u/literaly_bi
  • 05
    Text - of politics' working as smoothly as ever. Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like: Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?!
    via u/literaly_bi
  • 06
    Text - Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I
    via u/literaly_bi
  • 07
    Text - him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and l's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode' where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytor's grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason). And then we had the Quest For a N
    via u/literaly_bi

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