How ANTM Would Crush The Delicate Souls Of Disney Princesses

• Jasmine

  

  Jasmine's look is rockin' but her headstrong character would definitely land her in hot water with Tyra. The stylists would try to cut her hair and she'd sic her pet tiger on them and then run away from the set in the dead of night, prompting a search party and plenty of lawsuits from her royal daddy.

  
  

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• Rapunzel

  

  Rapunzel would come in naive and trusting, and let Tyra totally rework her look by cutting off those long golden locks. After it was all cut off she would mention how her hair used to contain the key to eternal youth but it lost its powers when they cut it, and Tyra would live the rest of her life tortured by the knowledge that she lost her one chance at being the first TV star to never need botox.

  
  

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• Ariel

  

  With her FIERCE red locks and iconic purple bra, Ariel would have a leg up (metaphorically) on the competition from the get-go. And with that shiny tail? She might not be able to walk the runway but she'd be swimming straight to the big-time!

  
  

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• Mulan

  

  Her androgynous look would give her a real edge at the beginning, but in her first episode, she would trip down the runway and spill paint or something all over the judges. She'd be cut, bringing dishonor on her whole family. She'd later redeem herself by dressing as a man and going on to win RuPaul's Drag Race.

  
  

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• Belle

  

  Belle always knew she was too good for her little town, and she came to win big. With her nose always in a book, she's too smart to get along with the other girls, but she's a beast on the runway and in front of the camera.

  
  

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• Snow White

  

  She's the fairest in the land, and certainly in the room, so as part of her makeover Tyra orders a spray tan. It looks terrible and gets her cut in the first episode. Well, that and her complete lack of personality. And the fact that she has 7 short guys following her around set all the time. She's not exactly a fan favorite, okay?

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• Cinderella

  

  Like Belle, Cinderella has come a long way to be there, but unlike Belle, she is soft-spoken and kind. She makes it pretty far until she gets caught using performance-enhancing magic which she receives from a dealer named "the fairy godmother".

  
  

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• Tiana

  

  Tiana's worked hard to get to where she is. She's paid her industry dues (including years modeling as a frog for an amphibian food company) and now she's finally made it to the big time. Tyra knows right away that this girl has what it takes and Tiana makes it all the way to the top!

   

  Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor.

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