Local Sheriff's Office Facebook Page Is a Comedic Goldmine

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mattstaff
Jan 18, 2017 1:00 PM EST

It's gotta be the coffee, donuts, rinse down and repeat routine. That's my running theory right now. Okay, not actually though. Clearly their social media game is on lock. Just cause these law-enforcing, pistol-slingin bros rep the badge don't in any way imply they can't rock the shit out of some innocent, chuckleworthy humor. Seriously though. Some of these posts from the Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office are greatness.

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  • 01
    Text - OFFICE Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office COUNTY December 24 at 8:52 AM For the eleventy-dozenth time, if your utilities are out, you need to call your service provider. If you call the Sheriff's Office, we can send a deputy over to write your water a ticket, but we aren't going to fix your water. 1.1K 71 Comments 125 Shares Like Share Comment
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 02
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's COUNTY Office December 24 at 8:14 PM ATTENTION ALL KIDS: Santa just contacted the Sheriffs Office and reported that he can't deliver toys until you all go to bed. I am sure that you don't want to keep Santa away. I told him I would put it on Facebook. Goodnight!! Parents: Thank you for your vote. That's the best I can do for you! 1.1K 16 Comments 84 Shares Share Comment Like SHERT
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 03
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office COUNTY DCONER December 29 at 5:29 PM We do not have your electricity in jail. Please refrain from calling dispatch to inquire about your power. We suggest calling your power company. i 794 58 Comments 74 Shares Like Comment Share ICE
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 04
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office December 31 at 12:10 PM Fireworks!! State law on fireworks supersedes the local noise ordinance. Fireworks are legal in Georgia. We can not, nor will we attempt, to stop people from legally exploding fireworks because you don't like it. We're in the legal/ illegal business not the you don't like it business. For those of you who will be exploding fireworks, be considerate of your neighbors. If at 0700 tomorrow morning they decide to have a band conce
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 05
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office December 31 at 4:08 PM. If you are gonna get your drunk on tonight then go ahead...but don't you dare drive. All our DUI arrests for the next 24 hours are gonna be posted here on our page. Get a driver. Uber yourself. But don't drink and drive tonight cause we will lock you up and make you famous! 4.3K 257 Comments 1.2K Shares Like Comment Share QUNTY OCONE
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 06
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's COUNTY Office January 4 at 3:56 PM Units are responding to a runaway llama on the 10 Loop near exit 1. We can't make this stuff up 3.3K 404 Comments 1.2K Shares Share Comment Like OFFICE
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 07
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office added 2 new photos with OCONER and 2 others. January 4 at 6:39 PM Based upon the number of media outlets that are calling about the llama, I can only surmise that President-Elect Trump must not have tweeted anything today; so, now they are scrambling for a story. Rather than try to respond to each one, here's a statement: "Around 4:00PM, dispatch notified me that someone had reported 'a baby camel running loose in Epps Bridge Road'. Our deputies are
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 08
    Text - Deputies, with the assistance of, and I kid you not, several llama experts who just happened to be traveling on Epps Bridge Road at that exact moment, managed to corral the llama in the dumpster area behind the Cook Out. We would also like to thank the good folks at Cook Out for providing a bag of carrots to help lure the llama into the dumpster area. Contact was made with the llama's owner (thanks to new County Commission Chairman John Daniell who had his phone number), and the owner's s
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 09
    Vehicle - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office updated their cover photo. COUNTY OFFICE January 4 at 4:19 PM
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 10
    Text - is Is questlons. Pernaps speak Spanish nor any of the native Peruvian languages We would like to thank the folks at Southeast Llama Rescue who were on the way to get the llama prior to our locating its owner." --Chief Deputy Lee Weems Pictured below are Captain Hale, Llama Whisperer, and the llama in its van.
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 11
    Text - FFICE Oconee County Georgia Sherift's Office January 6 at 9:30 AM ERI The question of the day so far has been "Sheriff, when is the right time to panic over the coming snow storm"? The answer to the question is "Now is the time to panic"! Now that we got that out of the way, I know the metro Atlanta weather gurus have to provide weather information for the metro area. Here in the OCSO Storm Center we concentrate only on Oconee County. Here is what we know now: You are good to go today. De
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 12
    Text - If your insurance company doesn't like that, too bad for you. Don't drive after the roads become covered with snow and ice and you will be fine. Saturday night and Sunday are likely to be sporty too. Make sure Momma has what she needs to make it a day or three. Enjoy the winter weather and don't do anything stupid. Will school be open Monday? Watch this page and we will keep you in the loop. We will tell you as soon as we know. Now, go panic and buy groceries and curse the ever darkening
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 13
    Text - When it does snow, we can expect it to snow hard and get those big fluffy flakes that the kids love to catch on their tongues. We hope that all you people who bought new 4 WD vehicles stay home so you don't fill the ditches with your new trucks. We ain't working the crash either. We will give you a self reporting form and you are on your own. If your insurance company doesn't like that, too bad for you. Don't drive after the roads become covered with snow and ice and you will be fine. Sat
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 14
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office COUNTY OCONEE OFFICE January 6 at 12:00 PM In the interest of a public service announcement, water in Oconee County freezes at 32 degrees F (that equals -38.657 degrees in the metric system) It is 41 degrees F now.. There is no ice. YET! 1.5K 109 Comments 176 Shares Like Share Comment
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 15
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office DCONEE January 6 at 11:55 AM The panic continues. Publix is out of fresh fruit and vegetables. First off, my FOOD eats fresh fruit and vegetables. Second off, you won't get scurvy over the weekend. Third, every family should have a three day supply of bacon for just such emergencies. Y'all need to plan ahead. 8.4K 508 Comments 2.5K Shares Haha Comment Share OUNTY SHERE
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 16
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office OFFICE January 6 at 1:30 PM. SR 13 is a self reporting accident form. That's what y'all are gonna get when you have a "stupid" snow induced car crash this weekend. You get an SR-13! And you get an SR-13! Everyone gets an SR-13! QUNTY SHER
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 17
    Text - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office COUNTY 13 mins UPDATE ON MARS HILL RD. The deputies assigned to the detail (there are 4 of them) to assist in the lane shift tell me that at 11 am the traffic light is going to change at Butler's Crossing. Change into what you may ask? Good question. They are supposed to move it to the new lane system. You can do what you want, but if it were me I would try to find another way to go and avoid the area for the next few hours. I would if I were you, bu
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office
  • 18

    And the personal favorite.

    Tree - Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office 18 hrs Be on the lookout. This subject was last seen in the area of Publix. He escaped from the rotisserie area of the store
    via Oconee County Georgia Sheriff's Office

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