CheezCake

Funniest Relationship Tweets Of The Week (April 8, 2021)

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    Font - Emily McKenna Winter @EmilyMcWinter Husband brought up a fight while I was bleaching my teeth and couldn't talk. This is pro relationship stuff. Couldn't be more proud. 5:08 PM · Apr 3, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 17 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 805 Likes

    This is definitely an expert move. Starting fights when the other person can't talk is like starting a bike race when you're the only person who brought a bike. Very sneaky. But at least it seems like he knows you. Clearly, he knows the perfect time to start with you.

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    Font - Raw Motherhood @MetteAngerhofer Last night, the hubby and I watched a documentary about a husband who killed his wife and kids. Today, with a newfound appreciation for one another, we keep whispering sweet nothings like, "You're such a good spouse" and "I swear l'll never murder you." Marriage is wild. 11:07 PM · Apr 4, 2021 · Twitter for Android 48 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 213 Likes

    Maybe we should all be watching these kinds of films with our spouses. Seems like a healthy way to appreciate what you have. Though it's honestly these kinds of films that make me want to be single more than ever. Sure having a cuddle buddy is fun, but not having a husband who could possibly murder you is even more satisfying.

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    Font - Jawbreaker ... @sixfootcandy I just got mad at my husband for getting mad at me. Marriage is fun. 8:04 PM · Apr 7, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 145 Retweets 7 Quote Tweets 993 Likes
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    Font - Stacey @skittle624 ... 21 years of marriage and l'm fluent in my husband's point language. 1:18 PM · Apr 7, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 66 Retweets 249 Likes
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    Font - ellie schnitt ... @holy_schnitt I know relationships make you weak because I went 10 months sleeping alone this year, totally fine! no big deal! but now 3 nights without my boyfriend and I'm stacking pillows next to me in the shape of a human body, like a lunatic 7:31 AM Apr 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 69 Retweets 10 Quote Tweets 2,092 Likes
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    Font - Brother Ben @SentenceReduced Dating Profile in your 20s: A list of exciting things you'd love to do! Dating Profile in your 40s: A list of medications you take and your favorite brand of knee braces. 3:06 AM Apr 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 65 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 139 Likes
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    Font - Jude D @heyitsJudeD Husband asked if I wanted to do something nice on our anniversary and I got all excited before I realized he meant with him 1:21 AM Apr 1, 2021 · Twitter for Android 172 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 970 Likes
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    Font - Chad Read ... @squirrel74wkgn [scheduling MRI exam] Doctor: Eat light and no sexual intercourse for 48 hours prior Me (glances over at my wife): Well, that shouldn't be a problem 6:09 AM · Apr 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 29 Retweets 64 Likes
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    Font - Shade 5 ... @Shade510 My wife and I are going out to dinner for our anniversary. We're still deciding whether it'll be to different restaurants or not. 2:16 AM Apr 6, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 66 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 216 Likes
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    Font - SpacedMom @copymama ... I wish happy pictures on social media had truthful behind-the-scenes captions: "Called kid a dumbass 2 minutes before this pic was taken" or "argued with spouse for the entire drive to this destination because he got me the wrong burrito filling at Chipotle" 4:31 PM · Apr 2, 2021 · Twitter Web App 61 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 350 Likes
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    Font - Amish PornStarTM ... @AmishPornStar1 Pro Tip: When making dinner or cleaning up after dinner, ALWAYS make as much noise as possible so your spouse knows they are sitting on their lazy ass while you are working! 12:41 AM · Apr 2, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 33 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 266 Likes
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    Font - Jessie ... @mommajessiec I'm your wife. You might remember from such hits as Did You Fix the Washer Yet and its sequel Why Haven't You Fixed the Washer. 3:41 PM Mar 25, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 72 Retweets 439 Likes

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