Mom Explains How She Dealt With Her Young Daughters' Rudeness, Twitter Says 'Yas Queen'

Being a mother, or a guardian in general, is not an easy job. Every experience is a major learning experience for your child, and you have to try to model for them what it means to be a kind and honest person. Basically, you don't get a break. But some parents definitely seem to have it all figured out, like Dr. Chae, an educator, and mother, equipped with a beautiful amount of patience. She has received much praise for being direct and asking her daughter why she was behaving rudely. The way she got on her daughter's level while speaking with her was very impressive to the Twittersphere.

Author image for Mayarey Mayarey
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    Font - Chawanna @DrChaeEd I noticed that my 6-yo was being a lil rude/curt w/me, so I asked her what was up. At first, she just looked at me, so I reiterated that I can't help her if I don't know what's wrong. Then I asked, "Why are you being unkind to me? What happened?" 8:31 PM · Apr 2, 2021 104.3K
    via @DrChaeEd

    Dr. Chae took a very special route with her daughter when trying to understand her sudden burst of rudeness. Instead of punishing her straight away, she asks her daughter why she is unkind to her. Usually it is the kids coming to their parents with 'why' questions, but Dr. Chae cleverly flips the script.

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  • 02
    Rectangle - Chawanna @DrChaeEd Replying to @DrChaeEd She looked at me and said, "I don't know," and started crying. I told her, "It's okay. Sometimes mommy just doesn't feel happy too. You're not in trouble. I just needed to know how to help." 8:32 PM · Apr 2, 2021 25.4K
    via @DrChaeEd

    It's amazing what can happen when you are patient with your kids and you ask them respectful questions. Sometimes your children will surprise you with their emotional intelligence. A simple question can go a long way. I'm sure that ensuring her daughter that she is definitely not in trouble helped too.

  • 03
    Rectangle - Chawanna @DrChaeEd Replying to @DrChaeEd She said, “My brain tells me to be rude." I told her that's sort of how it happens for lots of people. When our emotions aren't happy, sometimes we take it out on others even when they don't deserve it. 8:33 PM · Apr 2, 2021 25.5K
    via @DrChaeEd
  • 04
    Font - Chawanna @DrChaeEd Replying to @DrChaeEd She asked, "Wait. Your brain does it too?!" I told her yes, and then I asked her if I could teach her something that might help. She said yes, so I told her, "When you aren't quite feeling right but don't want to be mean, you can say, 'l'm not feeling my best self; I need a min." 8:35 PM · Apr 2, 2021 27.6K
    via @DrChaeEd
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  • 05
    Font - Chawanna @DrChaeEd Replying to @DrChaeEd So, we practiced saying that over and over again until she felt better. She gave me a hug and stopped crying. I think about all the ways I *could've* responded, particularly a power trip bc "I'm the adult," but she needed to process something not even about me. 8:37 PM · Apr 2, 2021 32.9K
    via @DrChaeEd
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    Font - Chawanna @DrChaeEd Replying to @DrChaeEd Trying to be slower to projection or anger has really given me an opportunity to coach my children on emotional maturity. Even at 6, she can learn how to challenge her own thoughts. She can learn how her brain works and the best ways to engage w/others. 8:40 PM · Apr 2, 2021 40.2K
    via @DrChaeEd
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    Here is Twitter's response

    Font - maybe: a ghost @maxmodeuss Replying to @DrChaeEd now THESE are the kinds of people that need to be parents!!!!! no more of that neglectful "im the parent so you do what i say" crap!!! this is fantastic i love this more parents like this please thank you for sharing 9:42 PM · Apr 2, 2021 9.3K
    via @maxmodeuss
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  • 08
    Font - PrettyGoodMonsters @severalmonsters Replying to @maxmodeuss and @DrChaeEd Oh god yes please. This is so beautiful. & learning & growing this way in her formative years? Not only is this story an example of the absence of a bad or potentially traumatic lesson, but it's learning, WHILE forming (!), to interrogate her own feelings... 10:28 PM · Apr 2, 2021 1.1K
    via @severalmonsters
  • 09
    Font - Kemmy O @Kemmy_O Replying to @DrChaeEd and @thearitokpo Yes, this works. I once asked my daughter why she was being mean to me too. She immediately apologized remorsefully. She is also going on 6 and the traditional parent in me still jumps out from time to time but my goal is to do much better A 9:49 PM · Apr 2, 2021 489
    via @Kemmy_O
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    Font - this is my first life @TBNJasper Replying to @DrChaeEd I love this exchange. Too often people forget children come into this world with nothing. They don't have an ounce of understanding of the world beyond what they observe and are taught. Teaching them their emotions will set them for soo much. 6:09 AM · Apr 3, 2021 14
    via @DrChaeEd
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    Font - Масе @turnerthemoon Replying to @DrChaeEd I needed this for me, l'm gonna try this route with my 7yo brother , he can be a troublemaker and regretfully sometimes I get angry with him. So I think words and exercises like this can help us both 10:38 PM · Apr 2, 2021 17
    via @turnerthemoon
  • 12
    Rectangle - Emma E @ejclibrarian Replying to @DrChaeEd What a beautiful way to help your daughter deal with her emotions. It can be so tough for kids when they feel things they don't understand. I hope other parents read this and learn from your example 1:44 AM · Apr 3, 2021 21
    via @ejclibrarian
  • 13
    Rectangle - PeaceNWarWithIN @PeaceNWarWithIN Replying to @DrChaeEd Absolutely beautiful way to manage! You are raising a healthier more compassionate person by your example. This makes the world a better place. 9:04 PM · Apr 2, 2021 39
    via @PeaceNWarWithIN
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  • 14
    Rectangle - Vicki @Enchanted_Again Replying to @DrChaeEd and @eteyenjr Teaching children emotional intelligence is fantastic, it takes some people half their adult lives to understand and manage themselves like this 9:31 PM · Apr 2, 2021 210
    via @Enchanted_Again
  • 15
    Rectangle - spockerel @spockerel Replying to @DrChaeEd Therapist for kids here. This is so wonderful to read! You and your child have such excellent rapport and you should be very proud. 9:57 PM · Apr 2, 2021 7
    via @spockerel
  • 16
    Font - g This Too Shall Pass / #BIlackLivesMatter @unlewis Replying to @DrChaeEd This type of parenting helps children to see their parents as people... It builds commonality in the relationship which leads to children trusting their parents. EXCELLENT! 10:26 PM · Apr 2, 2021 1
    via @unlewis

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