Man Tells The Story Of Worst Hotel Stay Of All Time

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mattstaff
Jun 26, 2021 11:00 AM EDT

Man oh man, you've really got to feel it for anyone who is responsible for cleaning out those hotel rooms. People can tend to be absolute messy animals when it comes to what they'll do to a hotel room. This guy's stay at a hotel couldn't have been any more disastrous. We would've loved to have seen the look on his face when he realized what kind of destruction had been created by those dang seagulls. Like, absolute chaos. Most people would probably try to abandon the scene of the crime before any graver repercussions presented themselves. But, this guy came back pleading for a second chance, saying he has learned his lesson and wants to be unbanned from the hotel. I don't even want to know what the cleaning bill was for this whole situation. Would you unban him after this? Is 18 years long enough to forgive him?

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  • 01
    Font - Nick Burchill I officially applied to be allowed to stay at the empress hotel again. Here is my letter. Waiting for the reply. 18 years is a long time...Fairmont Empress 28 March 2018 Dear Empress Hotel: This may seem like and unusual request, but I write to you today, seeking a "pardon". 17 Years ago a string of unfortunate events led to my being banned from your hotel. I would like to explain the incident.. In 2001, I had recently joined my current employer, XXXXXXXXX and I was also in
    via Worst Hotel Guest Ever (long but funny)
  • 02
    Font - This is the bag that the airline misplaced. The bag reappeared the next day. I knew that the pepperoni would still be "good". It had only been at room temperature for a short time. It would, however, be quite some time beforel could turn it over to my friends. Just to be safe, I decided that I should keep it сol. My room was a nice, big, front-facing room on the fourth floor. It was well appointed, but it did have a refrigerator. It was April, the air was chilly. An easy way to keep all o
    via Worst Hotel Guest Ever (long but funny)
  • 03
    Font - I'm sure you have an image in your head. Now remember that I have just walked into the room and startled all of these birds. They immediately started flying around and crashing into things as they desperately tried to leave the room through the small opening by which they had entered. Less composed seagulls are attempting to leave through the other CLOSED windows. The result was a tornado of seagull excrement, feathers, pepperoni chunks and fairly large birds whipping around the room. The
    via Worst Hotel Guest Ever (long but funny)
  • 04
    Font - I had forgotten that Seagulls cannot fly when they are wrapped in a towel. This is all happening fairly quickly and this is mid-afternoon. The Empress hosts a very famous and very popular "High Tea". I suspect this is where the large group of tourists was heading when they were struck by first my shoe, then a bound-up seagull (the seagull was unharmed, by the way). Let's go back to my little housekeeping issue. The room was BAD. There was a lot of damage. I was new to my company and I was
    via Worst Hotel Guest Ever (long but funny)
  • 05
    Material property - In retrospect, I should have just wet the dry shoe. Instead, I choose to dry the wet shoe using the little hairdryer. It was actually doing quite well. I had the hairdryer jammed in there and the shoe was drying quite nicely. Then, the phone rang. I walked into the next room to answer it and the power goes off. It turns-out that the hairdryer had vibrated free of the shoe and fallen into the sink full of water and the GFI didn't seem be 100% functional. I don't know how much
    via Worst Hotel Guest Ever (long but funny)
  • 06
    Font - I hope that you will see fit to either grant me a pardon, or consider my 18 year away from the empress as "time served". Thank you very much for your consideration. Sincerely, Nick Burchill **Update 31 March** After reviewing my application for a pardon with the Empress staff; Ryan, the manager has notified me verbally that I will once again be welcome as a guest. I bet it was the pound of Brothers Pepperoni that I gave them as a peace offering that did the trick. Mobile Uploads · Mar 30,
    via Worst Hotel Guest Ever (long but funny)

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customer service humor hotel FAIL cringe ridiculous funny
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