Toxic Mom Tells Daughter She Can Either Pay To Live At Home Or Leave

Author image for Mayarey
Mayarey
Dec 7, 2021 10:00 AM EST

Having a big family can definitely be a blessing and a curse. You're never bored, but you also barely have access to any form of privacy, and sometimes have limited time to work on yourself.

Redditor u/BestBat_4228 posted to r/AmITheAsshole to ask whether she was in the wrong for taking her toxic mom's ultimatum of paying her to live in her family's house or moving out entirely. OP's money from her job was being siphoned directly to her mother, causing a whole lot of issues at home. When OP moved out, the mother continued to fume, even though she was the one who put that option on the table in the first place. 

Parents who demand their kids pay money to live at home deserve the eventual "betrayal" that comes when their kids realize their parents are jerks, so excuse us if there's a lack of sympathy for the mom in this scenario.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Best_Bat4228 8 hours ago S 2 AITA For taking my Mother's Ultimatum
    via u/Best_Bat4228

    It was Reddit user u/Best_Bat4228 who took to the 'Am I The A-Hole' to ask if they were in the wrong for taking their mother's ultimatum. Spoiler alert, OP wasn't given much of a choice...

  • 02
    Font - So I had gotten a job and eventually started making money for myself to save up while I was living with my parents so I could move out eventually.
    via u/Best_Bat4228

    Clearly, OP has a goal of leaving home, as she is working her butt off with multiple jobs. But apparently, it's not enough for mom.

  • 03
    Font - After I got my first few paychecks I asked my parents to take me to our cell phone provider, they both agreed and both congratulated me on saving money to buy my own phone. I invited my boyfriend to come along with us to which he agreed.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 04
    Mammal - Now my dad being the greatest man alive paid for half of my phone and told me just to pay him back little by little so that way I still had money to buy some stuff if I wanted.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 05
    Font - Fast-forward a couple of weeks and I had finished paying off my dad and still paid for my phone bill by myself.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 06
    Font - (This is where my mother comes in) After those weeks my mother approached me and asked if I could give them just a bit more money then my phone bill to help out with the utility's and such while I was staying there (no big deal) I agreed and started giving about $200 every two weeks to pay for my phone and help with the internet and water.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 07
    Font - After a while at my job I was fired for missing too many days due to watching my nieces and nephew while my sister and my mother went out and did errands they would stay out almost 8 hours a day pretty much everyday and it would consistently make me late for work I got wrote up twice because of it so the company let me go.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 08
    Font - I keep watching my nieces and nephew and eventually got a new job at a smaller retail chain store. I still was paying the same amount of money while I was getting almost half as much money and was paid weekly which was leaving me with about $80 for rest of the week.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 09
    Font - But after a few months I was getting more and more frustrated with my mother, we were always having fights and at each other's throats and screaming at each other. I always asked her why she wanted almost all of my money that I worked hard for. She would always just say "You live under my roof you will do as I say". This caused a major communication issue with us.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 10
    Human body - I told her wasn't watching my nieces and nephew so that way I could actually sleep so I could stay awake while working my third shift job.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 11
    Font - (Cue the ultimatum) she bearded me and told me "That you can either give me money, stay here and watch your nieces and nephew while me and your sister do some errands or you can get the hell out of my house". She left and went to the store.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 12
    Font - Needless to say I chose to leave I had all my stuff packed and called my boyfriend and told him what happened he called his mother and she said that she would happily let me live with her and her son (my boyfriend). I gave my nieces and nephew my stuffed animals to take care of while I'm not there.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 13
    Handwriting - My mother came back fuming but didn't say a word other then "I hope you happy your abandoning me just like your brother" I hugged her told her I loved her and left.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 14
    Font - I still keep contact with my dad and my mom tries to be a part of my life AITA for choosing to leave? 90 Comments 98% Upvoted •••
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 15

    OP shared why she might be the A-Hole in this situation

    Font - I believe I might be the asshole because I feel like and asshole for leaving my dad who is a wonderful man and did everything for me to protect me and even took my side in those arguments but my family members call me an asshole for just leaving my own mother like that.
    via u/Best_Bat4228
  • 16
    Font - skyelyy · 8h NTA. I'm proud of you for leaving, I'm sure that was still hard. You made the right choice, that was a toxic and controlling environment. Your mother thought she could guilt you into whatever she wanted, you proved to her you are your own person and won't take it, Good! The comment about your brother leaving her too was both unnecessary and very telling of her parenting if you aren't the first to leave. 1.3k Reply Share •..
    via u/skyelyy
  • 17
    Font - Infamous-Wasabi-9007 · 8h Asshole Enthusiast [8] The major flaw with giving ultimatums is that the person you are trying to control will choose to take the consequence. OP's mother is being abusive. When you abuse people, you reap what you sow. Your are NTA. Your mother is. 1 468 Reply Share ...
    via u/Infamous-Wasabi-9007
  • 18
    Font - JimmyCorbiere · 7h Partassipant [1] NTA. Glad you left. You already lost a job because you had to watch the kids but yet your mother still wants you to pay but risk losing your paycheck to watch your sister's kids? Why don't they bring the kids with them or pay for child care? They should be paying you to watch the kids. Good on you for calling her bluff and leaving. 136 Reply Share •..
    via u/JimmyCorbiere
  • 19
    Font - Realistic-Slip45 · 8h Partassipant [4] NTA. You decided enough was enough and the narcissist didn't get her way. Try to keep in touch with the littles, your mother sounds poisonous. Youre learning boundaries. I would see if you cant talk to a therapist while you are now out in the world. 4 40 Reply Share ...
    via u/Realistic-Slip45

    Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor and more videos on our Youtube Channel. 


Tags

responsibility aita annoying toxic askreddit family Reddit mom
Scroll Down For The Next Article