National Dogs in Politics Day: Do Dogs Secretly Run America?
September 23 is a very important holiday here at ICanHazCheezburger: it's National Dogs in Politics Day! Yes, it's a special day to celebrate the beautiful puppers who have lived in the Big White House over the years. As it turns out, more dogs have lived in the White House than presidents! That's because nearly every sitting president has owned one or more dogs...
...or have they? Doesn't it seem a bit strange that there's always a dog in the White House? Why not a cat? Or an iguana? The answer is clear: the DOGS own the PRESIDENTS! It's dogs that have been running the country from day one, and they are just using the humans as figureheads so we don't suspect anything! Here's a list of evidence! And also some cute pictures of presidential pooches. Because dogs.
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It all started at the beginning of America with George Washington. Washington "owned" dozens of dogs and was very invested in his pets by all accounts. So I ask you this: how did he have time to run a country AND personally tend to a ton of animals? The answer is, obviously, he didn't. The dogs were the leaders, and they had to keep George close at all time to make sure he behaved.
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National Dogs in Politics Day commemorates the day Nixon used his dog Checkers in a speech to get himself on the vice presidential ticket. But...let's take a look at that name. Not Presidents' Dogs Day. Not Dogs in the White House Day. Dogs in POLITICS Day. The secret beneath is clear: the dogs ARE the POLITICIANS! They just couldn't resist leaving a little trail of evidence in the name. The evidence is there if you look close!
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Checkers helped get Nixon into office, but once he realized Nixon played dirty, he probably decided he needed to knock the sitting president off his chair. Just look how sinister he is here! I'm not saying Checkers was Deep Throat (the shadowy informant who exposed Nixon's cheating)...but Checkers was Deep Throat.
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Sure, Coolidge SAID it...but did he really come up with it? Sounds to me more like a subtle way for dogs to discourage any humans who wouldn't bend to their will from running for president…
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THE DOG IS DRIVING! CLEARLY BUSH CAN'T DRIVE A CAR BY HIMSELF, THAT'S WHY HE HAS TO HAVE A DOG AT THE WHEEL! This is unequivocal proof that Barnie was really the one in charge! How can you not see this, people??
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Major attacked a foreign diplomat? There's only one reason a dog would do that: to stop Ramsay from exposing these political pups' secrets. And clearly this scare tactic worked: doggies continue to control their presidents to this day.
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I mean, I think it's pretty clear Pushinka was a spy. This could probably shed some light on the mystery surrounding JFK's assassination too…
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