Entitled Dad Forbids Daughter From Going To School Dance Because She Asked Mom Instead Of Him

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abbyadler
Nov 17, 2021 2:30 PM EST

Custody over kids is always a challenge. People still need to communicate with their exes because they still have their kids in common, but that doesn't mean it's easy to communicate with an ex. In toda's 'Am I The A$$hole?' post, OP dad shared how he took away his daughter's excitement over her freshman year homecoming by telling her she wasn't allowed to go. Apparently, he had custody over her that weekend, and she bought a ticket and a dress before asking him if she could go. Even though she had already asked her mom, he wasn't having it and refused to let her go. Redditors decided that he was in the wrong because he was acting controlling and was taking out his issues with his ex on his daughter. We gotta say that we agree with the Redditors. What do you think? Scroll down for all the family drama details. 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for not letting my daughter go to her homecoming dance? My daughter is 14 and a freshman in high school. She came home one day after being at her mother's for a week (we split custody) and wrote "homecoming" on our calendar and starts talking about all the plans she's made with her best friend to
    via u/thrwaway8365

    She's clearly excited about it and it's adorable. How could he take that youthful excitement away from her?! 

  • 02
    Mammal - go to homecoming together. Homecoming week happened to fall on a week she was with me. She starts raving to my wife and I about the dress her mom took her to buy and that she's matching with her friend. She had even bought a ticket already.
    via u/thrwaway8365

    At least her mom is on her side. 

  • 03
    Font - I was furious with her entitlement to just make all these plans without asking me first. I can admit it's not just her fault, but her mother's as well for not clearing it with me before buying her the dress and ticket. In fact, I wouldn't put it past her and her mother to have bought the dress and ticket before asking in order to force me into letting her go.
    via u/thrwaway8365
  • 04
    Font - I want to teach her a lesson about asking first and not assuming that I'm just going to let her do whatever she wants and that she can't manipulate people in order to get her way. So I told her that if she'd asked first, I'd have been happy to let her go to her homecoming dance. But since she decided to make plans and buy stuff before even asking if she could go, I wasn't going to let her.
    via u/thrwaway8365
  • 05
    Font - She cried and told me that you only get one freshman homecoming, and I told her maybe she should've thought about that. I said all homecomings are the same anyway, she has three more opportunities to go and she's not missing much. She sulked in her room for the rest of the day and didn't talk much. I tried to comfort her, but my wife said not
    via u/thrwaway8365
  • 06
    Facial expression - to because I'd be teaching her that I'll give her my attention if she acts upset and cries. I went to comfort her anyway because I didn't think she was acting, but she rejected me. That infuriated me even more, so I left her in her room to cry alone.
    via u/thrwaway8365
  • 07
    Font - Her mother was furious when she found out, and demanded that I pay her back the money she spent on the dress and homecoming ticket. I said absolutely not because she didn't clear it with me before buying those things so it's her own fault. However, she contacted her attorney (who contacted mine) and long story short I got to sit down with my wife and our family therapist for a painstaking conversation about communication.
    via u/thrwaway8365
  • 08
    Font - It's now long after homecoming, and my daughter is pretty much back to normal but she's still angry with me for not letting her go to that dance. I stand firmly by my decision not to let her go but was I an asshole?
    via u/thrwaway8365
  • 09
    Font - TLDR: daughter made plans and bought a dress/ticket for homecoming dance before asking me if she could go - so I didn't let her go. AITA?
    via u/thrwaway8365
  • 10
    Font - Beginning-Ad-4255 · 5h 8 4 3 5 & 3 More YTA, I stopped at "teach her a lesson" It's a school dance. She's not having privileges restricted for poor behavior, so this is just about your ego and need for control which is a stupid thing to subject a child to. You're really claiming your child and her mother are scheming to strong-arm you into a school event that most parents are excited to snap photos of their kids all dressed up for a first formal high school dance?
    via u/Beginning-Ad-4255
  • 11
    Font - Laurelinn · 4h Partassipant [2] Let's bet that OP is going to come back here in a couple of years wondering why his daughter cut him off. Poor girl, her father would rather crush her dreams than work on his problems with his ex and leave her out of it. Good thing she's going to be an adult soon. OP, you are a gigantic asshole.
    via u/Laurelinn
  • 12
    Font - neuro-untypical · 5h Partassipant [2] Wow. YTA. Massive massive AH. So is your new wife. We'll see you in 5 years time asking "why won't my daughter speak to me? Why has she cut contact with me?" Apologize to your kid, find some way if you possibly can to make it up to her, and be a better parent.
    via u/neuro-untypical
  • 13
    Rectangle - KiddVideo82· 3h Some things you can't make up to someone, and the daughter's homecoming dance is one of them. OP will have to live with that.
    via u/KiddVideo82
  • 14
    Font - deco9676 · 5h Asshole Aficionado [19] YTA this is a text book control freak move. Congratulations you are the boss of her! Woohooo. You will also get to be a stranger to your grandchildren someday too! You must be so proud!
    via u/deco9676
  • 15
    Font - snarkingintheusa · 5h Asshole Aficionado [17] YTA Your custody schedule and ego shouldn't dictate your daughter's participation in regular school activities. 14 is old enough for most courts to take her thoughts into which parent she wants to spend time with so good luck with that.
    via u/snarkingintheusa

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