Father Makes Daughter Arrive To Family Wedding Separately Because Of A Halter Top

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Mayarey
Nov 16, 2021 12:00 PM EST

We all have different styles, and it's important for us to express ourselves and not be sheep in a herd following all the newest trends and limiting our individuality. However, is there a line between expressing yourself and being obnoxious? If you feel the most comfortable in a crop top and leggings is it harmful to anyone to show up like that to a family wedding? Dress codes are obviously just social constructs, but if you're a guest is it your duty to follow them?

This teen decided she didn't want to wear a formal dress to a family wedding and her dad is not having any of it. Who do you think is in the wrong?

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/papabearaita • 10h 2 1 A1 3 8 2 6 6 AITA For forcing my daughter to find her own way to a wedding because of what she was wearing
    via u/papabearaita
  • 02
    Font - My wife and I have 3 daughters (19, 24, & 28). Our youngest, Jill, just started community college this year while our 2 oldest have moved away to start their careers. Jill still lives with my wife and I as she is attending college locally and this saves her money. This past weekend we were invited to my niece's (and goddaughter) wedding a couple hours away. The dress code was semi-formal so men were expected to wear suits and women in dresses.
    via u/papabearaita
  • 03
    Font - As we were getting ready to leave, Jill was taking her sweet time getting ready and I was kind of nagging at her to get going. She had been out late the night before with friends and l'm sure she was feeling the effects of that. When she was finally ready to go, she was wearing some kind of black, spaghetti strap halter-top thing with leggings.
    via u/papabearaita
  • 04
    Font - I told her that was not an appropriate outfit for her cousin's wedding and that she needs to change into something else. She told me she doesn't have anything else to wear and that I don't get to police what she's wearing. I told her that judging by the amount of dirty clothes on her floor and in her closet, she clearly has other options, she just didn't plan ahead enough to figure something out. I told her it was disrespectful to her cousin, the bride, to wear something to revealing and
    via u/papabearaita
  • 05
    Handwriting - Jill called me a jerk and said no one is going to care what she's wearing and if people focus on her clothes more than the bride, that's their problem, not hers. I told her in that case, how she is getting to the wedding is her problem, not mine.
    via u/papabearaita
  • 06
    Handwriting - She asked what that meant and I told her that if that's what she wants to wear, she is going to have to find her own way to the wedding because I am not going to arrive with my daughter looking like she is about to hit a club at 2am instead of attend her cousin's wedding.
    via u/papabearaita
  • 07
    Font - My wife chimed in at this point and told us both to calm down. She told me I was being over- bearing, but also told Jill that she did not agree with her choice of attire either and reminded her this is a semi-formal event. She told Jill she would help her find a different option that would be better suited for this.
    via u/papabearaita
  • 08
    Font - Jill scoffed at that and went to her room and closed the door. I went and knocked and told her she has 15-minutes to be ready or we are leaving without her. She yelled at me that I was being an asshole so I went outside to wait and after 20 minutes I went inside and Jill was still in her room. I told my wife that I am leaving and she can either come with me now, or her and Jill can figure out their own plans.
    via u/papabearaita
  • 09
    Font - My wife asked what Jill is supposed to do and I said she can take an Uber for all I care at this point. My wife reluctantly left with me and I could tell she felt guilty about the whole thing. Jill ended up not coming to the wedding and both her and my wife blame me for it. I don't think I was the asshole here though. 4 13.8k 2k ↑, Share
    via u/papabearaita
  • 10
    Font - OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My youngest daughter wanted to attend her cousin's wedding wearing an outfit that is more appropriate for a club than a semi-formal wedding. I told her that unless she changes, she is not coming with us. She refused to change and didn't attend the wedding. I think I might be an asshole for forcing my daughter to find her own way to a wedding unless she changes her clothing.
    via u/papabearaita
  • 11
    Font - GothicArmadillo • 10h Certified Proctologist [21] 17 Awards NTA. You're exactly right: leggings and a halter top are not appropriate to wear at a wedding that is set to semiformal attire. It shows disrespect to the bride, and its embarrassing for you as well. The people saying that you have no right to say "I'm not taking you unless you change" have a double standard. They want to say that Jill is an adult and can wear what she wants/make her own choices, but they still don't believe that
    via u/papabearaita
  • 12
    Font - DarcyKnits · 10h Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] S 1 Award NTA I know that a lot of people will start going on about what a woman wears, but this is about not being up to the dress code. And while your daughter had the right to wear what she wanted, You also had the right not to be associated with her decisions on what she wanted to wear. You disagreed with her apparel and as such you weren't going to help her be disrespectful to her cousin by not going with the dress code. I put this in a simil
    via u/papabearaita
  • 13
    Font - skidoo1032 · 10h Asshole Enthusiast [8] NTA. When did people forget that there are types of clothing that is inappropriate to wear in certain places/events? You aren't "policing what she wears" in this situation. If you can't dress appropriately, then don't go. G Reply 1 3.7k 3 ... +
    via u/papabearaita
  • 14
    Font - Immediate-Pie3391 · 9h 1 Award Listen, I am an out and proud feminist, and I wil always rail against people policing and picking apart the type of clothing that women choose to wear. That being said, a person hosting a private event has every right to adopt a dress code, and if you don't want to listen to that dress code, then you don't have to go to the event. It is disrespectful to show up dressed inappropriately. You absolutely did the right thing -NTA. Although your daughter may not a
    via u/papabearaita

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aita dress code annoying Awkward wedding leggings family Reddit athletics rude
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