Helicopter Mom Fuming When Her Son Tells Her His Wife Is Pregnant Over Facetime

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Scary-Moment-8975 7 hours ago 2 2 AITA for choosing my pregnant wife over my mom
  • 02
    Font - Some back story. My mom was a traditional "helicopter mom" growing up and even though I'm almost 30, continues to struggle with control issues and not having as much of a say in my life as she used to and struggles that she is not my go-to person anymore.
  • 03
    Font - 6 years ago, me and my wife got together and once it became serious, I started to put our relationship as a priority. My mom expresses disdain for my wife and for my attention being on my wife and not her (gets upset that I use vacation time to spend with my wife rather than for family vacations, would constantly complain that I don't visit home enough, etc.). It has been very difficult on my wife throughout our relationship to feel like my parents don't approve of her or our relationship
  • 04
    Font - When we bought our first house they told me we were making a mistake, when we made the decision to move to another state we were met with a lot of guilt for "abandoning the family" and in general we have not gotten a lot of support from my family, specifically my mom, when making big decisions.
  • 05
    Font - Me and my wife found out she's pregnant a couple months ago and decided to wait until she was 12 weeks along to tell friends and family. We told her parents first and that took a lot out of her. They reacted well but it was emotionally exhausting and she had a rough first trimester so she just didn't have a lot of energy in general. We were obviously planning on telling my family shortly after and my wife expressed concern about their lack of support for big life decisions and said she di
  • 06
    Font - She also doesn't like being the center of attention so being pregnant has been difficult in that sense as well. After talking about it for a bit, I decided to do a family FaceTime call with my parents and siblings to tell them the good news. They reacted fine but weren't as excited as my wife's parents. My wife was napping when I told them.
  • 07
    Font - Now my mom is telling me she's upset that we didn't tell them in person and that my wife wasn't apart of conversation. I explained that my wife was having a rough time and felt uncomfortable with that so I was going to do whatever made her the most comfortable. She is my priority. My mom is insisting that her own needs are just as important in this scenario and that I should've been more considerate and should have known it would upset her to hear the news over FaceTime. She also insinuat
  • 08
    Font - I tried to explain that my wife asking this of me was not steamrolling me and that I made the decision to do this based on her comfort. Am I the asshole for putting my wife's concerns/comfort over my moms feelings?
  • 09
    Font - OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I believe that making the decision to do something that I knew would cause conflict between me and my mom and cause her to be angry with me and my wife and doing it anyway could make me the asshole in this situation. It could make the asshole for not being more considerate of her needs or for intentionally doing something she may consider harmful.
  • 10
    Font - 2 Hefty_Candidate_49 Asshole Aficionado [11] hr. ago NTA. Your mother doesn't have any "needs" when it comes to your wife's pregnancy. She has wants and she needs to grow TF up and realise it's time for her to be nothing more than a spectator in your life now. That's what parenting is - eventually, you're just a spectator.
  • 11
    Font - LadyGreyIcedTea · 6 hr. ago My mom is insisting that her own needs are just as important in this scenario and that I should've been more considerate and should have known it would upset her to hear the news over FaceTime. Sorry Grandma but nope. Maybe she should have thought of how she'd feel in this situation before she spent the last 6 years treating your wife like garbage. It would probably be a good idea to tell Grandma early and often that she will not be present for the birth of the
  • 12
    Font - AbortTexas · 6 hr. ago Partassipant [4] I'm living this now with a wife and my mom. Actually just banished my mom from my house. It's painful. NTA

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