Woman Has Miscarriage, Ex Sends Flowers Instead Of Visiting Her At Hospital Because She Cheated On Him

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abbyadler
Dec 18, 2021 9:00 AM EST

Today's 'Am I The A$$hole?' post is a rollercoaster of emotions and tragedy. OP recently discovered that his ex-wife cheated on him with a woman when they were supposed to have a baby together. At first, he was excited to have a baby with her, but when he found out that their relationship was a lie, he wasn't thrilled to co-parent with her. He honestly wanted nothing to do with her at this point. The baby ended up being stillborn, and instead of visiting her at the hospital, OP sent flowers to express how sorry he was for her loss. Although he was sad that the baby didn't make it, he was also relieved that he wouldn't have to co-parent with the woman who cheated on him. "I`m relieved that I no longer will be forced to be cordial with my ex", he said. A true whirlwind of emotions in this one. 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA I didn't go to see my ex at the hospital I and my ex divorced 5 months ago because she came out as lesbian. I didn't want the baby when she came out to me because I felt it would be awkward for us to coparent and I didn't want any contact with her. However, she wanted to keep the baby so I accepted her decision and didn't talk about it anymore.
    via u/YourOnlineFriend09

    Finding out someone you loved cheated on you is heartbreaking. 

  • 02
    Font - A few weeks ago, the baby was premature by nearly 2 months and turned out to be still born. I was in a business meeting so I texted her saying I was sorry for her loss and had flowers sent to her. Her gf and family have been calling and texting me since them saying that I'm a heartless jerk for not going to meet her at the hospital after such a traumatic experience.
    via u/YourOnlineFriend09
  • 03
    Font - My ex called me and said that I must be really happy that I got what I originally wanted. To be honest, although I feel sorry for her loss, I am relieved that we don't have to stay in contact with each other anymore and I can move on from her. ΑΙΤΑ?
    via u/YourOnlineFriend09
  • 04
    Font - Edit: I had originally wanted the child but when I found out that she cheated on me, I didn't look forward to coparenting with her. I felt it would be better for the baby to be aborted rather than to suffer from our bad relationship.
    via u/YourOnlineFriend09
  • 05
    Human body - That doesn't mean I would've hated the baby upon it's birth. I'd have loved it regardless. Just that it would be difficult to coparent with a person who's bad at communication.
    via u/YourOnlineFriend09
  • 06
    Human body - In short, I didn't not want the baby. I just didn't want a baby with a person who might not be a good coparent. I do love babies. I always wanted a baby with the person I love.
    via u/YourOnlineFriend09
  • 07
    Human body - To all those saying that I'm relieved about a baby's death...I'm NOT relieved that the baby died, I'm relieved that I no longer will be forced to be cordial with my ex.
    via u/YourOnlineFriend09
  • 08
    Font - Mayotroll · 8 hr. ago · edited 3 hr. ago NTA You sent flowers and everything, and people haven't accepted that you're no longer married. They need to get ot through their heads that you're no longer married, even though she hasn't got a new man.
    via u/Mayotroll
  • 09
    Font - Organic-Pipe-86 · 8 hr. ago Partassipant [3] NTA. There isnt anything wrong with not visiting someone who you had already planned on not having in your life anyways. You acknowledged the loss. Sent flowers. Sounds like what any decent person would do for someone who is an ex and isn't even "in your life" technically. Anything beyond that sounds like they just wished and had expectations of their own. Not your fault she wanted more from you... A now ex. They'|l get over it.
    via u/Organic-Pipe-86
  • 10
    Font - WeepingPegasus · 8 hr. ago NTA, she cheated on you and you wanted distance. She wanted to keep the baby so you accepted it. They all should accept that you're no longer in her life. Do they even know she cheated on you?
    via u/WeepingPegasus
  • 11
    Font - Umokiamdumed · 7 hr. ago NTA you were not expected to be there at the birth, why would you have been expected to be there at death? It sounds more like you were just a sperm donor in the pregnancy.
    via u/Umokiamdumed
  • 12
    Font - Former_Afternoon9662 · 8 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA, while seeing her in person may have been a more personable thing to do, you didn't outright ignore her and weren't malicious in anyway that I can tell. It's understandable that your ex and her family may have expected more and are reacting poorly to a very horrible event I wouldn't wish on anyone, but it's perfectly reasonable to want distance from an ex especially if they cheated on you.
    via u/Former_Afternoon9662
  • 13
    Font - Electronic-Shift7886 · 5 hr. ago You are NTA it sounded like she waited to get pregnant from you to finally tell you her truth. Kind of disgusting. I'm not LGBTQ but many friends I have in the community say that these types of LGBTQ people are what give the community a bad name. Not to mention she is a cheater. Just move on with your life and put this all in the past.
    via u/Electronic-Shift7886

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