Man Gets Petty Revenge On Hooligan Cat For Hogging His Pregnant Wife And Projectile Vomiting

What is it about animals that makes them so infatuated with pregnant women? Perhaps this cat is of the female variety and feels like she is sharing her owner's journey in motherhood? Or perhaps pregnant women just have big, warm, cozy bellies that are ideal for sitting on, if you are a cat that is. Regardless, we think it's super cute that OP's cat has developed a physical attachment to OP's pregnant wife throughout her journey, though some people are less enthusiastic about all that this new attachment entails. 

"He is very comfy and pleased to be there, that there is very little that would convince him to move. Not even, for example, if he has to cough up a hairball. No, he'll just do it where he is!…So that's how last night at 3:00 AM you would find me quietly trying to scrub cat vomit off of my arm and the blanket while also quietly swearing at the cat, who showed no remorse. But I had a trick up my sleeve." Via OP. 

OP has got a trick up his sleeve and this lil hooligan cat better watch his furry back! Let's hear all about OP's petty revenge which he so generously shared with the world of Reddit inspiring many comments and hilarious stories, even OP's wife chimed in! And for those who are patient, a glorious cat tax awaits you. 

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  • 01
    White - Posted by u/volta_arovet 1 day ago 12 4 9 3 Petty nighttime revenge on a gross little cat
    Via volta_arovet
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  • 02
    Plant - Ever since my wife became pregnant, our cat has become obsessed with sitting on her. I will be sitting next to my wife on the couch, empty lap covered with a warm blanket, and this asshole will walk right across my lap to lightly tap on her arm, indicating that she should put her laptop away so he can sit there.

    "Ever since my wife became pregnant, our cat has become obsessed with sitting on her"

    Big, pregnant bellies do seem like the ideal seat from a cat's point of view. But hey, what do we know? 

    Via volta_arovet
  • 03
    Plant - This also extends to bedtime, where he will spend most of the night being King of the Hill curled up on her belly or hip. He is very comfy and pleased to be there, that there is very little that would convince him to move.

    "He is very comfy and pleased to be there, that there is very little that would convince him to move."

    We're not sure if OP is describing his cat, or describing us when we get into a good writing rhythm…good luck trying to move us! Just kidding (mostly). 

    Via volta_arovet
  • 04
    Hair - Not even, for example, if he has to cough up a hairball. No, he'll just do it where he is! And if my cat is King of the Hill, guess who lives in the Valley underneath? That's right: me. Specifically, my arm.
    Via volta_arovet
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  • 05
    Font - So that's how last night at 3:00AM you would find me quietly trying to scrub cat vomit off of my arm and the blanket while also quietly swearing at the cat, who showed no remorse. But I had a trick up my sleeve.

    "So that's how last night at 3:00AM you would find me quietly trying to scrub cat vomit off of my arm and the blanket while also quietly swearing at the cat, who showed no remorse. But I had a trick up my sleeve."

    Let's hear it….what's the trick?

    Via volta_arovet
  • 06
    Font - See, my wife has a natural instinct that when she senses me roll over in bed, she changes positions as well. Knowing this trick has been useful in the past--for instance, if she's snoring, I can get her to adjust her position and breathe better without even having to wake her up.

    "See, my wife has a natural instinct that when she senses me roll over in bed, she changes positions as well. Knowing this trick has been useful in the past--for instance, if she's snoring, I can get her to adjust her position and breathe better without even having to wake her up."

    Okay, okay, we see where this is going 

    Via volta_arovet
  • 07
    Font - So I finish cleaning, get back in bed, and wait. Sure enough, within a few minutes, he's back on top of the hill. I wait long enough for him to settle down and get nice and comfy, and when he's all tucked in and happy as can be, the time has come for revenge. I roll. Oh no! A natural disaster has occurred, and an avalanche has thrown the King off of his throne into the valleys below!
    Via volta_arovet
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  • 08
    Font - He climbs back up again and settles down. I roll. Earthquakes! The ground moves beneath him and the King falls once again! Disaster after disaster befalls the kingdom! Oh, the humanity! (Okay, I only did it like three times)
    Via volta_arovet
  • 09
    Font - Was it petty? Yes. Did it delay my own getting back to sleep? Also yes. Was it satisfying? Hell yes. I love my furry little gremlin, but seriously, fuck you. Edit: Cat tax (yes, on wife's lap, of course)
    Via volta_arovet
  • 10

    CAT TAX

    Cat - ORY
    Via volta_arovet
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  • 11

    Wife here!

    Font - Muuntama · 20 hr. ago Wife here. Can confirm that His Majesty has become an utter cuddlebug since I've been pregnant but this is the first (and probably only) instance of projectile vomit employed on my spouse, whom His Majesty also loves. I slept through most of this story, but I can confirm that the next morning he had reclaimed his throne on my hip and was purring very happily when I woke up. Comforter is in the wash. His Majesty is currently getting butt rubs from OP and there are no
    Via Muuntama
  • 12
    Font - bmorris0042 · 1 day ago We have a cat that had a few kittens. We kept 2 of them. They have been exiled from the bedroom at night, because they will bite our toes/fingers through the blankets if we move, and if both of them are in there, one will sit between us and sleep, and then sometime in the middle of the night the other one will ambush it and start "playing." They also seem to think that lights out is the start of playtime, and will make mad dashes across the bed, and jump onto us fr
    Via bmorris0042
  • 13
    Font - LadyAlexTheDeviant · 1 day ago Mine likes to settle down by our feet and bite our toes if we roll over more than His Highness feels is appropriate. That's why he's not allowed in the bedroom at night. He can come in if one person is napping because his kingly presence takes up one side of the queensize bed.

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    Via LadyAlexTheDeviant

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hilarious cat pregnancy thread interesting petty revenge felines petty feline reddit thread Reddit Cats funny
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