Dad Receives Alarming Text Message From Daughter, Ex-Wife Fuming When He Shows Up Unannounced To Check On Her

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abbyadler
Apr 16, 2022 2:30 PM EDT

Divorces are tough on both the parents and the kids involved in the crossfire. Raising kids together when you're separated is no easy feat, but it's a feat that many divorced couples manage to accomplish once they get into a particular groove working with one another. Communication is key in every relationship. Even if the two parties involved are divorced, they still need to properly communicate with one another and work together in order to create a healthy environment for the children growing up in their care. In today's 'Am I the A$$hole?' post, OP's ex-wife failed to properly communicate with him about her plans to do an electronics detox with her daughter, while led to OP worrying like crazy about his daughter when she wasn't answering his text messages. Right before she went MIA, she texted him 'daddy help,' which obviously made him freak out immediately. When he couldn't reach his ex-wife or daughter, he ultimately decided to stop by their house to see WTF was going on. His ex-wife thought him showing up unannounced was uncalled for, but what was more inappropriate was that she didn't even think to tell him they were going on a cleanse from electronics. Scroll down for all the dramatic family details. 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/aitadaig 21 hours ago 2 2 6 3 11 AITA For showing up to my exes house after our daughter sent me a concerning message?
    via u/aitadaig

    From the get-go, it sounds like OP was just concerned about his daughter's well-being. 

  • 02
    Font - I and my ex split when our daughter (13) was about two, and have always had split custody, 50/50. My ex remarried when our daughter was five, and now has two younger kids. Her husband also has a son our daughters age.
    via u/aitadaig

    Here's the backstory of the relationship. 

  • 03
    Font - I pay for a phone for her so she can keep in contact with both of us, she's smart with it and its never been an issue before. When she's at her moms she texts me quite a bit, she has cats here she wants to be updated on mostly.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 04
    Font - Anyway, I dropped her off at school on Monday, and her mom picked her up like usual. She texted me on and off through school, and once more when she was picked up, but I didnt hear from her again that day.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 05
    Plant - It was strange, she always messages me before bed - but I brushed it off, she's growing up. She'll stop texting me goodnight one day.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 06
    Font - On Tuesday no messages again, so I shoot a text to her mom, who doesnt reply. After school I finally get a text from my daughter, which literally reads, "daddy help". Thats it, no response after I messaged her back. Obviously I'm thinking a hundred and one things.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 07
    Human body - I text her mom and call her, no reply. So I hop in my car and drive over, and... she's fine. Ish. She sees me, comes bolting out, asks if I can bring her home.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 08
    Font - I have a lot of questions, but apparently so does her stepdad. He comes storming out, asks what I think I'm doing, etc. Its their week, I shouldn't be picking her up yet.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 09
    Human body - I explain my issue, he gets all big guy, and yells at my daughter for scaring me, which was not taken lightly by me.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 10
    Font - Anyway, turns out they were on an "electronics detox" and all electronics have been locked away. My daughter got upset on Monday night and her stepbrother made fun of her, which continued through to the next day at school. She snuck onto her phone when she got home to text me, but got caught and had it locked away further.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 11
    Font - Her mom got home a few minutes after the initial argument, and I told her she shouldnt be doing something like this with my daughter without my approval. That phone is my property, and I say she can use it to contact me if need be. Lock it up during the day if you must, but let her say goodnight at least.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 12
    Font - She apologised for that, but stuck by her husband in the fact that I shouldnt of just shown up.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 13
    Organism - I told her I texted her, she said her phone was also in lock up, so I should of tried the housephone or her work phone. Personally I think calling her place of work to discuss our kid is absurd, and I dont have their house phones number.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 14
    Font - I took my daughter home as she didnt want to stay, but its been tense. Obviously they arent communicating because they're still on detox, but my parents have since agreed with her, claiming that she's the other parent and if anything happened to her I would of been told, I need to trust her judgement, etc. Which I get, but she wasnt responding, either.
    via u/aitadaig
  • 15
    Font - Decent_Sky_9880 · 21 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [5]] NTA. You litterally received a text that says "daddy help". Checking in person was exactly what a father is supposed to do in this situation imho.
    via u/Decent_Sky_9880
  • 16
    Font - StargazerNataku · 20 hr. ago I'm almost forty and my dad is 72. Even now if I sent that text he'd be getting in the car and driving as fast as he could get away with to me house and I live an hour and a half away. That's not rude or bad, that's good parenting. Especially if he can't get a hold of anyone to tell me it's bad but not a true emergency. This dad is so NTA.
    via u/StargazerNataku
  • 17
    Font - RedditUser123234 · 21 hr. ago Partassipant [3] Not responding would be negligence
    via u/RedditUser123234
  • 18
    Font - Pokabrows · 19 hr. ago Yeah if a friend sent me a 'help' message and wasn't responding I'd do anything I could to come help. I imagine that need to help is x100 when it's your own child.
    via u/Pokabrows

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aita drama kids parenting exes
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