Cheating Cousin Plans to Marry New Boyfriend, Family Plans Vacation on Her Wedding Day Instead

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jun 12, 2022 9:00 AM EDT

Is this guy an A-Hole for planning a vacation during his hot mess of a cousin's wedding? Yeah, most definitely. But for once in these AITA threads, he's the A-Hole but we aren't mad about it. This is a brilliant way to take a stand against your family member's poor behavior. This is especially important when you consider the fact that the family was closer to the cousin's husband than they ever were to the cousin herself. 

This would be sad if the cousin was being excluded for some kind of belief, differences, or preference (as often happens in families) but it genuinely sounds like she is just a really crappy person who is finally receiving some repercussions for the way that she treats other people.

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AITA (Am I the A-Hole) subreddit by this guy, Redditor u/beachbumm10, who is wondering if he is in the wrong for planning this vacation during his cousin's wedding and inviting other family members when they expressed interest. 

It might be wrong, but this is one case where it's ok to be wrong in our book. What's your take?

See screenshots below. 


 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/beachbumm10 7 hours ago 23 AITA for "ruining" my cousins wedding by planning a trip that same weekend after I refused to attend? Some good ole family drama and I (28M) need a verdict. My cousin Emily (27F) is getting married in a few months. Our family is a large American- Italian family. I've been dubbed the "ring leader" by my uncles/aunts because I'm the oldest. Most of my cousins are 18-28 and we are all really close besides Emily. We didn't have a ton in common and she ma
    via u/beachbumm10

    Thumbnail Image: Photos by Lanty

  • 02
    Font - Emily got married 3 years ago. We all went and formed a bond with her then husband. My girlfriend Chloe and I have been together 5 years, so she is close with all my cousins. To save a whole long backstory. Me and Chloe got close to Emily's husband. Emily out of nowhere asked for a divorce. And within 2 weeks is moved in with another dude. Obviously it was the family gossip but we were all told that "family is first" so we needed to not mention it. A few months later we find out that the
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  • 03
    Font - When the rsvps came back no. The older generation flipped out. I started getting calls from uncles/aunts/grandparents asking what the hell I was doing. I said that we already weren't going and our generation felt obligated. We didn't force anyone to not go. Just gave an open invite. Emily and her fiancé called trying to strong arm me. I said "listen you two, have a wonderful wedding. I just don't support it and think it's better that I'm not there." Well my mom and aunt (Emily's mom) show
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  • 04
    Font - catalinachild 6 hr. ago NTA at ALL!!! Let the older generation be upset, if they come at you tell them you're not supporting adultery or any form of cheating and that if they try to force you to go tell them you'll get drunk and puke on the bride's dress. 5.6k Reply Share savagefleurdelis23 - 5 hr. ago 6 2 2 2 3 Asshole Enthusiast [6] OP can also tell the older generation that he'll consider going to Emily's next wedding as a gesture of goodwill. 3.5k Reply Share Transmutagen 4 hr. ago 3
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  • 05
    Font - TemptingPenguin369 · 6 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [18] NTA. Call me old-fashioned, but I think "fracturing the family" might better apply to Emily than you. 1.8k Reply Share Vilnius Nastavnik · 5 hr. ago Partassipant [2]] Two families, as long as we're keeping score. 408 ... Reply Share TemptingPenguin369 4 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [18] Eh, I figure there will be another fracture a-comin' from the wedding in question... 70 Reply Share
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  • 06
    Font - maddiep81 6 hr. ago 2 ESH Decline invite: N TA Go to FL: N TA Confirm rumors: N TA Invite her Ex: No judgement Open it up to everyone and have a big gather: Now you're an A H When they wanted to join you, this is what you should have said: "You definitely shouldn't feel obligated to attend the wedding and the big getaway idea has merit, but can you imagine the family drama if we actually did that week? No, I think it's best if we all just have our own thing going on then...but, hey! Let's
    via u/beachbumm10
  • 07
    Font - ReadyGrapefruit5449 · 6 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA, this is amazing. Your support will mean a lot to Emily's ex (who seems to have done nothing wrong) and is showing you are a man of conviction. 562 Reply Share
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  • 08
    Font - SDstartingOut 6 hr. ago Professor Emeritass [78] INFO: Are you asking if you are TA for taking a trip, or if you/your gf are assholes for effectively inviting a bunch of other people who would have otherwise been going to the wedding? My view, might not be popular. First part - completely not TA. Second part, asshole. 556 Reply Share mellow-drama. 5 hr. ago Third part: pretend you don't see why people think "sets up competing event that includes the ex" gives the appearance of encouraging
    via u/beachbumm10
  • 09
    Font - p_cornsilk 6 hr. ago Okay I totally understand the impulse and you are N T A for planning a trip for you and Chloe, but inviting all your cousins too tips into YTA territory. You're actively creating this drama by doing so - if you don't feel you can attend a wedding with full support, then you just decline, you don't throw a rival party the same weekend for everyone who has a bone to pick with the couple 410 Reply Share
    via u/beachbumm10
  • 10
    Font - Monicawroteitbetter 6 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [9] NTA, but wow, that cousin of yours is a mess! ↑ Reply Share 244
    via u/beachbumm10

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