Neighbor repeatedly demands 24-year-old student remove the dandelions from the yard of his rental, so he blows the seeds into the neighbor's yard: 'My wife and I can't even sit out and enjoy our back yard, because of all those stupid dandelions!'

People get crazy over their lawns… Wanting a perfectly uniform, homogenous area of land that is devoid of any possible biodiversity. "Lawn guys" will go as far as having a specialized weekly routine that ensures absolute perfection. This usually escalates over time as the various "lawn guys" in the neighborhood silently compete like some sort of bird courtship ritual to see who can have the most immaculate patch of grass.

No shade or shame here, everyone has their thing, but I'm not spending any more time on lawn maintenance than I have to. Ain't no body got time for that. Besides, I love the beauty in the chaos. To me, there is nothing more perfect than a lawn of moss, flowers, and clover. I love having biodiversity and different plants in my garden, with plenty of bees buzzing about going about their day.

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Author image for Brad Dickson Brad Dickson
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  • This story illuminates an important lesson: What is bad is relative. While some people might consider something like a dandelion to be a "noxious weed," others might find it to be beautiful.

    Sure, there are things that are morally, ethically, and legally wrong—undisputibly. However, when it comes to values like "This is what your lawn should look like," everything becomes relative. As with anything else that is up to our own preference and self-determination, as long as you're not harming anyone else or infringing on their own enjoyment of things, you should be able to do as you please.

    It's like the countless stories globally of humans eradicating local populations of predators because they were seen as being "bad" for preying on livestock. At that point in history, there was little consideration, care, or understanding of what effect we were having on the local ecosystem and how destabilizing the delicate balance of local predator populations would have knock-on effects.

    Now we know better, but I guess not really, not a whole lot else has changed.

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    Cheezburger Image 10542829568
    via Chiara David

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • 02
    I'm 24, living in my first place on my own. I'd rented a townhouse (this was back in the late 80s even when poor people could rent entire houses) and was putting myself through college. Not a lot of money to spare, but I was getting by. The townhouse was not detached, and I had 2 neighbours whose homes were directly attached to my own. I got along fine with my southern-most neighbour (aka we said "hi" when we saw each other and that was about it) but the other neighbour, he had a chip on his sho
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
  • 03
    Being a struggling college student, I didn't have a lot of money for non- essentials. Most of the people in the neighbourhood poured weedkillers on their lawns every spring. I didn't do this, for several reasons. Most important, I think it's a shame to poison the local water table, and while I love a nice lawn, I don't think you have to cater to grass. I prefer a more natural look. Back then, that meant regular grass, but with some crabgrass and dandelions.
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
  • 04
    One day Bob starts berating me over my dandelions. "It doesn't fit the neighbourhood! Don't you have any self respect? You bring down the tone of the neighbourhood!" Every time he'd see me, he'd tell me I need to pour poison on my lawn (which I explained I couldn't afford and didn't want to do). At first I was polite as I wanted to be on good terms with my neighbours, but Bob started getting angrier and angrier, and more and more unreasonable, started calling me "poor white trash".
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
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  • 05
    One day I'm coming home, parking in my driveway with some friends from school in my car. As we're getting out, Bob comes. outside and shouts, at the top of his lungs, "GET RID OF THOSE DANDELIONS!!!" He looks over and now spots my friends getting out of the car, and he's clearly embarrassed, but he doubled down and started talking directly to my friends. "Did you know your friend is an embarrassment to the neighbourhood? How's it feel to be friends with white trash?" I had just about had enough
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
  • 06

    "Several days later I get a knock on my front door. Open up the door, and it's a bylaw enforcement officer. Says he's responding to complaints of 'noxious weeds' in my backyard"

    Cheezburger Image 10542832128
    via Niklas Hamann

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    Several days later I get a knock on my front door. Open up the door, and it's a bylaw enforcement officer. Says he's responding to complaints of "noxious weeds" in my backyard, and asks to come take a look for himself (being a middle unit, the only access to my backyard was through the house).
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
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  • 08
    I invite him in, offer him a drink of (which he gratefully accepts; hot day!) and take him through to the backyard. Lots of lovely white and yellow dandelions peppered over the yard. He takes one look, and gives a deep sigh. There were no "noxious weeds", which I knew full well, as I had long ago taken the precaution of checking with the city to see what was and what was not acceptable in the weed department. And I knew I was well, very comfortably, within compliance.
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
  • 09
    The bylaw cop apologized for wasting my time, said my yard was "Nowhere near" a problem. He left, and went next door to chastise my neighbour for wasting his time. I stood at my front door and listened, it was glorious listening to Bob sputtering and angry, trying to defend. himself and vilify me, all to no avail. "My wife and I can't even sit out and enjoy our back yard, because of all those stupid dandelions!" Bylaw cop told him to stop harassing his neighbours and left.
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
  • 10
    But listening in gave me an idea. I knew Bob liked to sit out on his back deck in the afternoons, so I waited. As soon as I spotted him out there, I walked out into my backyard, ignoring Bob as I gathered up a nice bouquet of white-topped dandelions, seeds ready to disperse to the wind. We had a 4-foot high chain link fence between our properties, so the view between yards was pretty much unobstructed.
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
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  • 11
    I stood at the fence, locked eyes with Bob, and started blowing thousands of dandelion seeds into his yard. The wind was at my back so the seeds were traveling quite far into his yard. He grew red-faced and started yelling at me. "What's the matter Bob? I'm just doing what you asked, and getting rid of my dandelions." He yelled more, and I just ignored him. After depositing several dandelions worth of seeds he went back inside. From that day forward, for the next several weeks, every single time
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
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    Eventually dandelion flowering season ended. I wanted to think that Bob learned a lesson about bu ying. But he didn't. I'll post some of his other bu ying attempts at some other time.
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
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    Cheezburger Image 10542831872
    via Ebru Yılmaz

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • 14
    RealUltimate Papo The only thing more fragile than a precious snowflake... is a delicate dandelion Neighbour got exactly what he deserved
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  • 15
    ConfuseableFraggle Lol! Many years ago I had a good friend who was a Master Gardener. She ran the local garden club for a while, and won several awards for her various gardens. She had gorgeous displays of native wildflowers, flowering bushes, a to- di -for display of roses, and a huge veggie garden. She told me that "a W d is any plant in a place it isn't wanted" and that if the plant is one you want or like then it is not a w d on your property. Therefore, if you like dandelions and clovers an
    via Icy-Computer-Poop
  • 16
    BuyAffectionate2810 I have a neighbor like this that takes great care of his yard and glares at the dandelions in my yard. My wife and I like our flower weeds. He never says anything, just glares.
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