The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022)

A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever I think I want to become the vessel for an infant's lifeblood, I am reminded that I am not ready to stop being the baby. When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. I am a little bit of a narcissist in that I wouldn't put it past myself to be jealous of a baby. As far as I can tell, babies get way more compliments and accolades for just existing than women in their twenties, and I don't know if I'm ready to compete with that.

Luckily, many citizens of the world are not like me and are willing and able to take on the roles of parents with humility and grace. Some of these gracious souls are even willing to share their experiences of not being the baby on the world wide web in the form of hilarious parenting-themed tweets. God bless their selfless souls.