24-year-old and their fiancé contemplate moving out of shared home because their parents and adult siblings turned a short stay into a permanent living situation: ‘It's time to finally move forward with our own life’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 13, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

The best part about owning your own home? Nobody can bother you—but we all know that's not really true. It's difficult to feel like you've actually spread your wings and gained independence when your financially irresponsible parents find a way back into your life, literally rent-free, and make their issues your problem. Sure, they raised you and gave you all the tools you need to get ahead in this world. That doesn't mean they should just become your children to take care of when you've finally found your footing. Bonus points if your adult siblings follow suit and make your life harder!

In this next story, a couple considers moving out of their shared home because one of their parents and a few adult siblings have moved in after facing financial hardship. What should have been a temporary solution has now turned into more than either of the two homeowners can chew, and they think the only way to get out is by abandoning the home with the folks in it. Both parents and siblings are fully capable of keeping themselves afloat if they try at all. Scroll below to finish the story.

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    via Keith Tanner for Unsplash

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  • "WIBTA for putting my life first and moving out of the house I own, even though my family depends on me?"

    My fiancé (25) and I (24) currently live with my parents and my adult siblings in a house that my fiancé and I own. Our names are on the mortgage, and we're the ones paying it.
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  • We bought the house in late 2022 because we wanted to escape and finally have our own space just the two of us. And we had that for almost a year. But in -
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  • November 2023, my parents and siblings moved in because they had nowhere else to go. It was supposed to be temporary - just
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  • 6 months but that's long. - passed. It's now been over a year, and it'll be 2 full years this coming November if we don't take action soon.
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  • We're planning to move out soon — not far, just into our own place again. My parents say they're willing to take over the mortgage
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  • and stay here, and they've expressed support for our decision. But they also ask a lot of questions like "Are you sure?"
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  • or "Where do you plan to go?" that make it clear they're nervous or unsure, even if they're not saying it outright.
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    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Here's where things get more complicated: I cook all the • dinners for my siblings (who are adults). They don't cook for
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  • themselves, even though my parents cook their own meals. • I also drive my siblings everywhere or my mom will take my car, since
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  • none of them have cars and my parents only have one vehicle. . My dad works full-time, my mom works from home, and my siblings have part-time jobs 2-3 days a week with hours that intersect my dads.
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  • So while everyone is technically capable, most of the house still leans on me for daily functioning ― and that's on top of my fiancé - and I paying the bills (my parents do contribute).
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  • My parents have lost a house before due to financial issues. I do think they can handle this one, but it would mean making lifestyle changes - like not going
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  • out to eat or on vacations as often. Right now they're comfortable, but once we leave, they'd actually have to budget and step into the responsibilities my fiancé and I have been covering.
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  • I feel guilty, because I know our leaving will force them to change. But I also feel like my fiancé and I have been carrying this household long enough, and it's time to finally move forward with our own life.
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  • WIBTA if we moved out of a house we own and left it to my parents, knowing it'll likely make their life harder and force them to change their routine?
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  • TL;DR: My fiancé and I own a house that we bought to live in alone. My parents and adult siblings moved in over a year ago when they had nowhere else to go - it was supposed to be temporary. We've been paying
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  • the mortgage, cooking, driving people around, and basically keeping the house running. Now we want to move out and let them take over, but I know it'll force them to change their lifestyle (less eating out, more responsibility). WIBTA for leaving and prioritizing our own life?
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  • Hefty-Squirrel-6800 If they can pay the mortgage, they can move out and rent their own place. Let me play the end of your tape for you. You will move out. They will not pay the mortgage. The house will enter foreclosure. You will lose YOUR house. They will move in with you again. Rinse and repeat. They need to go and go now.
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  • Recent_Net_7082 That's one of our biggest concerns. We're definitely not handing over the house with no plan we plan on doing a rental agreement
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  • SerenThorne NTA. They lost their own house before and now they're risking yours with their financial irresponsibility. The fact that your adult siblings can't even feed themselves is embarrassing for THEM, not you. Move out and let them figure out how to be an adult like everyone else has to.
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  • jessicaxesvlq97 Exactlyyy! it's honestly wild how much OP and their fiancé have taken on. The siblings not even cooking? That's next- level dependent. At some point, the family's gotta face real life. OP leaving isn't selfish, it's overdue.
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  • Recent Net_7082 Yeah, I've been trying not to be too hard on them, but it's frustrating. I know it's not my job to keep enabling them, especially when it's costing me peace. Thank you that's what I needed to hear
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  • PrestigiousTrouble48 They need to be paying you RENT! Not paying your mortgage. They need to have a lease agreement, they need to be covering the mortgage, insurance, rates etc as a RENT payment.
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  • They have lost a house before because they couldn't afford their lifestyle, they moved in with you because they couldn't afford their lifestyle, they didn't raise any of their kids to be self sufficient adults (except you), they can't even afford two vehicles. What makes you think they will be any better this time?
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  • Be clear with them that it's a legally binding lease or they leave now. If they miss one payment they instantly receive an eviction notice. Do not ruin your and your fiancee's future to save people that are making the same mistakes over and over again.
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  • Recent Net_7082 That's a really good point. I've been thinking about how to transition everything without setting myself up to get burned, especially since my name's on the mortgage. Slowly pulling back is probably the smartest way to ease them (and me) into it. They said they can pay for it and we keep our names on the official paperwork it does make me nervous though
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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement house siblings reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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