Fresh Posts From the Minds of Twitter (September 23, 2022)

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Sep 23, 2022 9:00 AM EDT

What upppp internet explorers?! Thank god it's Friday, am I right? We don't want to get in trouble for this, but let's be real: Fridays are kind of a fake workday. It's hard to get anything done when you're anxiously awaiting the end of your shift. By the time 6 pm rolls around, you're wondering why you didn't get more done but don't care enough to work late to finish the job. 

That's what Sunday night is for. 

Anyway, one of our favorite ways to procrastinate on Friday is by scrolling through Twitter. The thing is, finding a quality tweet - be it funny, or cute, or witty - can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. That's why we've done the work for you, and rounded up these Twitter tidbits all on our own. 

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  • 01
    Product - Emerson Lotzia, Jr. @EmersonLotzia tom brady looks like someone drew kevin bacon from memory ht Health . 1000 • nt Health 2:37 PM 9/20/22 Twitter for iPhone iple Advent 1,286 Retweets 292 Quote Tweets 17.3K Likes
    via @EmersonLotzia
  • 02
    Font - Jennii @hashjenni If you think girls are dramatic then you've never seen a guy lose in a video game 9:24 AM 9/20/22 Twitter for Android 3,564 Retweets 484 Quote Tweets 17.4K Likes
    via @hashjenni
  • 03
    Font - Zack Budryk @BudrykZack Matt Damon confirming that in the early 90s there was this class of young male rising stars competing for all the same roles who would all go "ah shit" when Ethan Hawke was in the reception room is still very funny to me 4:58 PM 9/20/22 Twitter for iPhone . 1,403 Retweets 82 Quote Tweets 32.1K Likes
    via @BudrykZack
  • 04
    Font - kidversations @kidversations_ "Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?" - my child, about to be shook 4:52 PM 9/20/22 Twitter for iPhone . 4,249 Retweets 353 Quote Tweets 70.8K Likes
    via @kidversations_
  • 05
    Product - Christian @lazodc Y'all in her dms while she's laying in my bed like this 5:43 PM 9/19/22 Twitter for iPhone • 3,577 Retweets 678 Quote Tweets 34.4K Likes
    via @lazodc
  • 06
    Font - No Kings No Masters Only Wooloo @MockWooloo When indie bands go bad Mountain Goats Are Being Airlifted Out of a National Park Because They Crave Human Pee Their insatiable thirst for human urine is causing some problems ALT Sam Blum Sep 28, 2018 9:17 AM 9/21/22 Twitter Web App 2,379 Retweets 233 Quote Tweets 21.4K Likes
    via @MockWooloo
  • 07
    Font - Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen guy who came to check out what's making noises in my attic told me it's "one of the creepiest attics [he's] ever seen." not something you want to hear from a person whose job involves seeing a lot of attics 12:28 PM 9/21/22 Twitter for iPhone . . 626 Retweets 29 Quote Tweets 17.2K Likes
    via @BrandyLJensen
  • 08
    Font - layla @laylology seeing a boyfriend's handwriting for the first time can be one of the most jarring experiences of a girl's life 4:05 PM 9/21/22. Twitter for iPhone 737 Retweets 183 Quote Tweets 14.9K Likes
    via @laylology
  • 09
    Plant - Anakin @theSnyderKnight These are four separate movies 11:42 AM - 9/20/22 Twitter Web App ... YAFLOO 31.1K Retweets 4,244 Quote Tweets 382K Likes
    via @theSnyderKnight
  • 10
    White - Cassowary of State Security @YuriFrozen What 30% of the city budget goes to PIGS WITH NO SPECIFIC DUTIES 1:54 PM 9/20/22 Twitter for Android
    via @YuriFrozen
  • 11
    Table - hans @ratkingsy thinking I'm the hot mysterious stranger on public transport and then remembering i sit like this H 12:06 PM 9/20/22 Twitter Web App . 3,786 Retweets 194 Quote Tweets 49.5K Likes
    via @ratkingsy
  • 12
    Font - kevin nye @kevinmnye1 INTERVIEWER: Your résumé states you have 20 years sales experience, but you're only 28? ME: yes ma'am, that's correct, I went to public school in the 90's, and each year I sold thousands worth of cookie dough and Christmas junk to strangers so my teachers could have scissors. 11:44 PM 9/19/22 Twitter for iPhone 5,797 Retweets 228 Quote Tweets 66.2K Likes
    via @kevinmnye1
  • 13
    Product - lys's harrys house @MEDICINEVIBEZ t'was the night before harry BROADWAY is a main artery of New York life K TEST achievements MAR Enema right NEW YORK w York is a great monument to the power of money and greed A RACE FOR RENT (( A hundred times I thought New York a catashe, and fifty time IT IS A BEAUTIFUL CATASTROPHE New Yorkers, by reputation. are Now in the biggest collection of village world fast talking ASSERTIVE . NEW YORK CITY New York hat The melting 4,000 of the world. ded dre
    via @MEDICINEVIBEZ
  • 14
    Cat - Cats of Yore @CatsOfYore ALT ... FRAUD ALERT: Local woman makes conflicting statements about her cat, claiming he is both a "big strong man" and a "tiny potato boy".
    via @CatsOfYore
  • 15
    Font - Now He Sings @nowhesobs Unemployed guy at 2 pm: Man the group chat's been silent 4:04 AM 9/20/22 Twitter for iPhone 17.1K Retweets 2,526 Quote Tweets 250K Likes
    via @nowhesobs
  • 16
    Font - abby govindan @abbygov every interracial white couple is literally the most stunning ethnic person you've ever seen and then just some person 8:30 PM 9/20/22 Twitter for iPhone . 1,489 Retweets 824 Quote Tweets 25.4K Likes
    via @abbygov
  • 17
    Font - tara shoe @tarashoe 6 months ago the dentist said I had perfect gums. today the dental hygienist said I had "very good gums." there is a miscommunication going on in this office. there is toxicity, and miscommunication 8:25 PM 9/20/22 Twitter for iPhone ... 254 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 8,900 Likes
    via @tarashoe
  • 18
    Font - Daniel @growing_daniel The bravest thing a grown man can do is get out of bed when he's really cozy 11:35 AM 9/21/22 Twitter for iPhone . ... 1,724 Retweets 92 Quote Tweets 19.4K Likes
    via @growing_daniel
  • 19
    Vertebrate - faye @fayemikah Kevins first time outside absolutely bewildered he was 12:01 PM 9/21/22 Twitter for iPhone 2,784 Retweets 156 Quote Tweets 32.4K Likes
    via @fayemikah
  • 20
    Font - Pooper Yukon Gold @GrahamKritzer Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous. shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. 9:52 AM 9/21/22 Twitter for Android ... 33 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 146 Likes
    via @fayemikah
  • 21
    Font - Jeff Greenwood @TheFantasyEng "The next game will consist of finding a usable RB on the waiver wire" 7:26 AM 9/21/22 Twitter for iPhone . 366 Retweets 35 Quote Tweets 5,099 Likes
    via @TheFantasyEng
  • 22
    Font - Matt Negrin, HOST OF HARDBAL... @MattNegrin Why'd they call it nyquil chicken and not robitusserie 1:16 PM - 9/20/22 Twitter Web App 2,099 Retweets 171 Quote Tweets 19.9K Likes
    via @MattNegrin
  • 23
    Facial expression - matt @mattxiv britney spears is the princess of pop, but never forget that if things had gone a little differently, she could have also been the queen of england Britney Spears and Prince William had a 'cyber relationship' before he met Kate Middleton Prince William reportedly stood up the 'Princess of Pop' must go and find my sband. As usual, he's rounded by women" hile to "He is sweet, but I don't like castles.... Maybe I'm 2:23 PM 9/20/22 Twitter for iPhone a screwball, bu
    via @mattxiv
  • 24
    Font - I hope this is satire... sablaah@ omg thanks for ending the meeting 4 minutes early and "giving me some time back" -- now I can finally pursue my passions 11:46 AM 9/20/22 Twitter Web App . 3,869 Retweets 161 Quote Tweets 51.7K Likes
    via @sablaah
  • 25
    Font - gale na @poisonjr i would have a lot more faith in ghost experts if i saw them go "actually no this house isn't haunted" even once 11:44 PM 9/19/22 Twitter for iPhone ... 3,295 Retweets 196 Quote Tweets 66.1K Likes
    via @poisonjr
  • 26
    Font - Robert Schultz @Robert Schultz mock adam levine all you want... you're gonna feel pretty silly when he uses all this as inspiration to write one of the worst hit songs of all time 6:27 PM 9/20/22 Twitter for iPhone . ... 583 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 15.5K Likes
    via @RobertSchultz
  • 27
    Font - caleb hearon @calebsaysthings adam levine is incredibly strong because if my sexts got released i would walk into the ocean with cinder block shoes 11:40 AM 9/21/22 Twitter for iPhone . ... 1,717 Retweets 88 Quote Tweets 38.6K Likes
    via @calebsaysthings

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humor twitter relatable adam levine fresh tweets relatable tweets funny tweets funny
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