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20 Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines That'll Make You Instantly Facepalm

Sometimes the blinding thirst takes control and an otherwise socially acceptable conversation takes an aggressive nosedive for cringe-inducing, sex-crazed face-palm city. These people need to reassess their Tinder pickup strategy as soon as possible; or they can keep providing us a steady procession of what not to do when you want to keep the proverbial 'unmatch' from striking. 

Are you French? because Eiffel for you. Oui love horrible pick up lines here, and one of the best places for social ineptitude is the rash of dating apps that have exploded into app stores. They cater to practically every group and quirk to make sure there is something for everyone. But Tinder pickup lines can sometimes just be absolutely horrendous. Cringe isn't a strong enough word. More like violently shudder and try to shake off what those phrases did to me. 

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  • 1
    Face - I would like to put my penis lowest hole on your head If I was up side down, that would be my eyes. Ithink we should avoid the up side for now and take it a little slower with the lowest one liko it faet and hard fuck mu.ovo
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  • 2
    Text - Travis YOU MATCHED WITH TRAVIS ON 3/23/17 What things would you want to happen on our date? 1. Excessive amount of drinking 2. Cook an extravagant feast together 3. Multiple orgasms Well. 1. I am sober. 2. I am anorexic 3. I am asexual. What else could happen? Sent Send Type a Message... GIF WERTYUO P A S D F GH JKL Z X C V B N M 123 return space
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  • 3
    Text - Zoila YOU MATCHED WITH ZOILA ON 3/26/17 hey whats up?? Jacking off to Dora the explorer, you? day off : Want to have sex while we watch Dora the explorer? Vaminos lets fuck Sent Send Турe a Message... GIF
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  • 4
    Text - Irene YOU MATCHED WITH IRENE ON 3/27/17 Me, myself, and Irene Never watched the movie Neither have I, wanna watch it and chill? Sure Number? Sent Send Туре a Message... GIF
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  • 5
    Text - < Corinne YOU MATCHED WITH CORINNE ON 3/25/17 My goals in life include being a trophy husband with a developing drinking problem and driving my children to their soccer/t-ball games in a minivan and enjoying a cold beer while I watch their sub par performance. Would you be willing to be the bread maker of the family and come home to me asleep on the couch 4-5 times a week? Sent Type a Message... GIF Send QW ER T YU O P A S D F G H J KL Z X C V B N M X 123 return space
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  • 6
    Text - Kerri Неу I just gotta say, you're the reason people think Sacred Heart has the hottest girls out of every school in New England. Lol nice start to the conversation But thank you You started the conversation the conversation with "Heyy" and it was my duty as a dude who wanted to hookup with you to save it. Lmfao well I guess ur right Lmfao well I guess you can give | me ur number Sent I guess Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 7
    Text - Haylee YOU MATCHED WITH HAYLEE ON 3/22/17 If you and I were Dikdiks id show the world you were mine by making piles of poop Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 8
    Text - Shelby Do you like Phil CollinS? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Sent Mar 27, 2017, 5:50 PM Uhhhhm who
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  • 9
    Text - Tori YOU MATCHED WITH TORI ON 3/24/17 Are you majoring in sucking dick at SHU or do you just wear a choker for the look? Mar 25, 2017, 12:19 AM Why don't you tell me... Mar 25, 2017, 3:14 AM Why don't you show me? Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 10
    Text - Dakota YOU MATCHED WITH DAKOTA ON 3/27/17 You can access my pipeline Sent Type a Message... Send GIF UIO P QWE T Y R К L AS D F GHJ Z ХС VBN 123 return space >
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  • 11
    Text - < Calley YOU MATCHED WITH CALLEY ON 2/15/16 Wanna swallow my children? Mar 27, 2017, 4:47 PM Haha what a line Sounds like ur down Sent Mar 27, 2017, 5:26 PM I didn't say I wasn't Send Турe a Message... GIF
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  • 12
    Text - Katrina YOU MATCHED WITH KATRINA ON 2017-03-26 You wanna be my baby mama? Having kids is a big step in a relationship. I think we're ready Okay let's do it This might be the whitest kid ever born Mar 26, 2017, 7:03 PM Yeah I'm pale af ahaha And super basic if you mean white in that sense hahaha Mar 26, 2017, 9:24 PM Both I've been described as "milky" Type a Message... Send GIF
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  • 13
    Text - Peyton YOU MATCHED WITH PEYTON ON 3/27/17 are you a virgin Sent Mar 27, 2017, 9:56 PM Why would you ever think that is a socially acceptable response. I feel sorry for whoever raised you, and I feel sorry for mankind that you are existing in the world. Type a Message... Send GIF
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  • 14
    Eyewear - Ryan YOU MATCHED WITH RYAN ON 3/24/17 I Swiped for the animal in your pic Mar 25, 2017, 9:49 PM The animal? Yeah... What animal Sent Dat pussy hulu Type a Message... Send GIF
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  • 15
    Text - Brea YOU MATCHED WITH BREA ON 3/19/17 You down? Mar 20, 2017, 9:08 PM 2 what Clown Sent Duh GIF Type a Message... Send I'm You QWE R TYU O P A S D F G H J KL zX C V B N M 123 return space
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  • 16
    Text - Nei-Nei YOU MATCHED WITH NEI-NEI ON 2017-03-27 Watch me whip! Now watch me Nei-Nei Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 17
    Text - Gabriella YOU MATCHED WITH GABRIELLA ON 2/26/17 I would like to put my penis in the lowest hole on your head If I was up side down, that would be my eyes. I think we should avoid the up side for now and take it a little slower with the lowest one I like it fast and hard, fuck my eye sockets like a little girl! Show. no. mercy Alright I guess I can do it but make sure you put in eye drops first, you know for lube Those dry too quickly let's get some of that k&y hot and cold shit so I can r
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  • 18
    Text - Clarissa YOU MATCHED WITH CLARISSA ON 3/23/17 What's 13x5+4 Mar 23, 2017, 7:55 PM something you'll never get with me Lemme see that chocolate starfish? you're the reason everyone hates white frat boys Why you gotta bring race into this? you're right Number? Sent Туре a Message... Send GIF
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  • 19
    Text - Melissa YOU MATCHED WITH MELISSA ON 3/11/17 Do you like lacrosse? Cause I'm trying to give you the shaft! ...financially, when I avoid paying child support for our three kids Sent Type a Message... Send GIF TYUI OP QWE R A SD F G HJ K L Z XC V BNM return 123 space X
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  • 20
    Text - Sarah YOU MATCHED WITH SARAH ON 3/25/17 I noticed you do body art, how about you do some on mine. Sent Mar 27, 2017, 5:18 PM That's very smooth, I am considering Турe a Message... Send GIF
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  • 21
    Smooth pick up line to a girl named Sam.
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