Misogynist Husband Sabotage's Wife's Professional Future By Going Over Her Head To Complain To Her Boss That She Can't Handle The Work Load

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elina lee
Jan 16, 2023 12:00 PM EST

If there's one thing we won't stand for its sabotage. Be it from friends, lovers, or anyone else - if you take part in sabotage, please know that you're the lowest of the low. Just saying. But how should one judge if the sabotage in question happens 'by accident' or out of plain ignorance? Is it fair to still call it sabotage? Should the person get a green pass just because 'they didn't know' or 'didn't think'? 

Well, we'll let you be the judges of that. We recently stumbled upon one of the most mind-boggling Reddit stories we've seen in a while. Let's just start out by saying that OP is a grown man with a fully developed brain. He goes on to tell the story of how he went behind his wife's back to reach out to her boss and let him know that the workload he has her on is way too much. We won't spoil any of the details but we do want to know what you think! Comment down in the comments if he's an a$$hole or not. 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Sporkwind 5 hours ago AITA? I talked to my wife's boss about her being overworked. Now my wife is yelling at me about never trusting me again.
    via u/Sporkwind
  • 02
    Font - My wife has been putting in 10-14 hour days chained to her computer for the past 2-3 weeks through weekends as well. Wasn't able to take any days off for the holidays either. She's been screaming obscenities about her job, how she wants to quit, how it's ridiculous she's working so hard without any break. There have been multiple tear filled days.
    via u/Sporkwind
  • 03
    Font - I have been walking on egg shells doing everything I can to help around the house and get her anything she wants. But I am on edge constantly watching for an explosion.
    via u/Sporkwind

    Here's an idea… how about giving her some emotional support to help her reach her goals? 

  • 04
    Font - Today (working through the weekend again) she was screaming about other people she worked with screwing her up and I just couldn't take it anymore. I pinged her boss and said 1) there are limits for human beings, 2) this kind of thing can't happen again next year. He agreed and said he'd try to help.
    via u/Sporkwind
  • 05
    Font - Either way, he did a crap job of keeping me out of his conversation with her about limits today. So she found out I'd messaged him ASAP.
    via u/Sporkwind

    Uhhh… sir??? What did you think was going to happen? Did you think there was going to be a non-spoken bro code here or something??? 

  • 06
    Font - Now she's telling me it was extremely misogynistic to message her boss to say she can't handle her job (which I didn't say) and it's going to set her career back years. Says she can't ever trust me anymore to talk about work or how she's feeling. Generally threw me in the doghouse.
    via u/Sporkwind
  • 07
    Font - AITA here? I honestly don't know. I can't stand to see her that strung out by work, but did I cross the line too far?
    via u/Sporkwind
  • 08
    Font - bookagnostic 5 hr. ago Partassipant [1] YTA I don't know what field your wife works in, but women often have to fight a lot harder for promotions and raises than men do. You get to hear her stress, but I am sure she plays it off as being totally cool and collected to her coworkers. What you did is essentially tell her boss that she cannot handle the work load and it's not your place to do that even a little bit.
    via u/bookagnostic
  • 09
    Font - If her anger and stress at home is an issue for you, that is something you both need to communicate about with each other. You should never be messing with her other relationships without her permission, ESPECIALLY NOT HER WORK RELATIONSHIPS. You have shown her that she cannot express her emotions to you and expect them to remain private, so how is she supposed to be vulnerable with you in the future?
    via u/bookagnostic
  • 10
    Font - brookleinneinnein. 3 hr. ago Let's be honest; he might have single-handedly tanked her career at this office. And depending on her industry and how small/specialized it is he may have completely killed her career.
    via u/brookleinneinnein
  • 11
    Font - . tatersprout 5 hr. ago · edited 5 hr. ago Supreme Court Just-ass [142] YTA The 1950's called and they need you back. How could you possibly think this is okay? Not only are you an AH, you violated your wife's trust and a sacred confidence. Things aren't looking good for you here. You could cost her her job at the worst and any future promotions or raises for the future. Wow.
    via u/tatersprout
  • 12
    Font - tropicaldiver 6 hr. ago Pooperintendant [51] YTA. There is a difference between venting and asking for help. There is a difference between helping and totally undercutting her. There is a difference between undercutting and stepping in, without her knowledge let alone agreement let alone at her request, and humiliating her and taking over her life. She was venting. You went way way way over the line.
    via u/tropicaldiver
  • 13
    Rectangle - OrangeCubit 6 hr. ago Professor Emeritass [96] YTA - NEVER mess with someone's job. I would be absolutely humiliated if I was your wife.
    via u/OrangeCubit

Tags

boss marriage Misogyny work wife relationships husband ignorant sabotage
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