Twitter Thread: The Funniest 'Crimes' Committed By Cats Who Are Total Hooligans

There seems to be this incredibly strange misconception among people who don't have cats that cats are incredibly boring pets to have. What do they do, right? All they do is sleep and eat and use the litter box, and sometimes, if they feel like it, maybe they'll allow you to pet them. But as people who do own cats, we know that this is entirely friggin' false. Living with cats is as far from boring as possible. Why? Because cats are absolute hooligans.

Cats do whatever they want without asking anybody anything. Cats will sit in all the places they shouldn't no matter how many times you tell them not to. Cats will steal food right off your plates - while maintaining eye contact with you to establish their superior position in the household. Cats… Cats go out of their way to cause trouble, and this twitter thread captures that purrfectly. 

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky Mariel Ruvinsky
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    Font - Premee Mohamed @premeesaurus having a cat is great. every day i'm like 'how did i live life before this.' i mean yes the crime rate in my house is up like 40,000% percent. but. worth it for the new experiences every day with this guy. 6:44 PM - Jan 17, 2023 - 1.1M Views 8,197 Retweets 262 Quote Tweets 44.9K Likes
    via @premeesaurus

    Yup, this just about sums up what it's like to live with cats. They will drive you absolutely insane, they will do everything that you ask them not to do on principal, and yet, no matter how many things of yours they destroy, you will continue loving them with every single fiber of your being.

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  • 02
    Font - Premee Mohamed @premeesaurus 6:44 PM - Jan 17, 2023 - 29.5K Views ... : this tweet brought to you by Local Small Bastard Man hopping up on the desk, taking an ENORMOUS huff off my little desktop humidifier, and then sneezing like 15 times in a row and scaring himself so badly he's now hiding in the bedroom closet 90 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 2,033 Likes
    via @premeesaurus

    See? Someone who doesn't own a cat may look at this tweet and think that good god, having cats is insanity, and this person is clearly regretting their decision to get one. But they'd be wrong. This right here is love in its purest form. Every single cat owner feels this way, and every single one of us would do anything for our furbabies. 

  • 03
    Organism - Ash @BarbiturateCat Replying to @premeesaurus This guy's daily routine consists solely of CRIMES. His favourite activity is throwing a full cup of water onto the bathroom floor, every evening. Then demanding the cup is refilled so he can drink from it. 5:27 PM - Jan 18, 2023 - 23.6K Views 54 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 1,075 Likes ...
    via @BarbiturateCat
  • 04
    Font - Premee Mohamed @premeesaurus Replying to @BarbiturateCat but that's so ANTI-SOCIAL SIR, HOW CAN YOU 5:34 PM Jan 18, 2023 13K Views
    via @premeesaurus
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  • 05
    Font - NatalieZed dot Tumblr dot com @NatalieZed Replying to @premeesaurus One time, Inky dipped every one of his feet in the still- cooling scalloped potatoes and walked all over @JairusKhan's freshly washed and drying adidas pants, leaving butter and cheese grease footprints all over it, 15 minutes before we were leaving on a trip 6:54 PM - Jan 17, 2023 - 12.8K Views
    via @NatalieZed
  • 06
    Font - Premee Mohamed @premeesaurus Replying to @NatalieZed and @JairusKhan ENORMOUS CRIME 6:57 PM - Jan 17, 2023 - 10.9K Views
    via @premeesaurus
  • 07
    Cat - Simon Bisson @sbisson Replying to @premeesaurus and @BakingWithEve We have two Maines. They are a heist crew with a penchant for leaving little rubber ball toys right where you are going to step on them. And then they look at you like this. "Who, me? It was clearly my sister." 5:35 PM - Jan 19, 2023 - 1,874 Views
    via @sbisson
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  • 08
    Automotive tire - alaina @alunajune Replying to @premeesaurus shredded paper, ALL cups filled with any liquid spilled within minutes of setting them anywhere, leaves chewed on, jewelry and crystals swatted onto the floor & sometimes lost forever, carpets shredded when accidentally locked in a bedroom, broken plant pots.... the criminals: 3:35 AM Jan 19, 2023 - 1,384 Views
    via @alunajune
  • 09
    Product - James Doyle @priusjames ... Replying to @premeesaurus and @MikePerryavatar Locked mama cat out of the bedroom last night, so she brought her favorite toys from downstairs and played loudly all night right outside the door.
    via @priusjames
  • 10
    Cat - Godzilla could fix this @amcatanzaro Replying to @premeesaurus This one enjoys knocking over every trash can every night and going through them to see if there's any twist ties or bottle caps. 6:58 PM - Jan 18, 2023 5,052 Views
    via @amcatanzaro
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  • 11
    Cat - jess the ghost trapped in a meatsack @beeprobotsong Replying to @premeesaurus This one alone has a laundry list of garden variety crimes, but my personal favorite is when he drops a toy mouse into the water bowl just to slap it around in the water, pull it back out, and leaving it sopping wet somewhere for me to step on ALT Shar www
    via @beeprobotsong
  • 12
    Vertebrate - Overeducated cat woman @Lindera Replying to @premeesaurus She murders houseplants and steals balls of yarn. 4:52 PM - Jan 19, 2023 470 Views ANDDWAT
    via @Lindera
  • 13
    Product - Vote the Andrea Martin assholes out. @AndreaMartinATX Replying to @premeesaurus My little demon was obsessed with the bathroom trash can. She would knock it over and drag all the trash out. I traded a regular trash can for one with a lid. Now she takes *some trash out to show me she's still the boss. And don't even get me started on the toilet paper drama 6:34 PM - Jan 19, 2023 479 Views
    via @AndreaMartinATX
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  • 14
    Cat - tian @floating in the void @Tianbutshamele1 Replying to @premeesaurus and @SBDLWJ0523 Presented without commentary on jo
    via @Tianbutshamele1

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