20 Completely Reliable Animal Tweets That Are Not At All Satire

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Feb 4, 2023 6:00 PM EST

Everyone has that one friend that tells jokes that are so stupid, you just have to laugh. We love that friend (and also hate them a little bit) because you hate yourself for laughing at them because you feel like you lost some brain cells after listening to it. But, you laughed anyway, so in the end we guess we actually like them. Lucky for you, we found a whole Twitter account that does this for animals! Who could wish for something better?

These hilarious tweets are technically not incorrect, but we guess it's all a matter of perspective. And we love that they include their hilarious approach to all the members of the animal kingdom, and don't rely on the classic cat and dog stereotypes to create content. You should definitely send these to your friend that tells stupid jokes because for sure they will appreciate it. We're still shaking our heads at these, you know how - in that "We can't believe we just wasted 5 minutes of our lives on this", but it brought a smile to our face, so in the end, it was worth it.

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  • 01
    Water - Quick Animal Facts Most sharks can stay under water indefinitely, which is longer than most people
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 02
    Bird - Quick animal fact #38 Less than 5% of ducks have attempted world domination
    via @QuickAnimal

    What we're really curious about here is, how many actually have attempted world domination? What was their plan? Did they want to build a race of genetically superior super ducks? Would they be feeding us crumbs of bread?

  • 03
    Bird - Quick animal fact #13: Emus are the only animal to have won a war against humans
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 04
    Organism - Quick animal fact #37: Capybaras know what you did last year on the night of June 7th
    via @QuickAnimal

    How these capybaras know what we did is a mystery. They are quite mysterious animals, in fact, capybaras. Also, we think that they look like dogs mixed with a coconut. You're welcome. You will never be able to unsee it.

  • 05
    Bird - Quick Animal Facts: Most female cardinals are not male
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 06
    Organism - Quick animal fact #4: Most banjo catfish cannot actually play the banjo. This is because they cannot afford one
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 07
    Bird - Quick animal fact #30: You can take the ducks located in a park. They are free as long as you don't get caught
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 08
    Ecoregion - Quick Animal Facts: Most buffalo do not actually have wings
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 09
    Bird - Quick Animal Facts: Barn owls typically hatch from eggs laid by barn owls
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 10
    Water - Quick animal fact #20 Dolphins don't speak in sign language to other deaf dolphins. This is because they don't have hands.
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 11
    Liquid - Quick animal fact #41 100% of Texas salamanders can't enjoy color red. This is because they are completely blind
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 12
    Water - Quick animal fact #24: Most killer whales do not kill people. This is because they do not know how to use guns
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 13
    Arthropod - Quick Animal Facts: You can tell a tarantula is a tarantula because of the way that it is
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 14
    Water - Quick animal fact #2: Most sea turtles are not actually made of sea
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 15
    Photograph - Quick animal facts #9 Lions are never found wearing any clothes. This is mainly because they don't have enough money to buy them.
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 16
    Nature - Quick Animal Facts: Most groundhogs do not use forks when eating
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 17
    Bird - Quick Animal Facts: There is believed to be over 9 species of birds
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 18
    Arthropod - Quick animal fact #19: Most flies don't even get paid to be annoying. They just do it for fun
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 19
    Vertebrate - Quick Animal Facts: Bears do not have to obey traffic laws
    via @QuickAnimal
  • 20
    Photograph - Quick Animal Facts: Most coyotes are illiterate
    via @QuickAnimal

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Tags

animals comedy hilarious lol Memes funny haha fun facts tweets satire facts twitter funny animals animal tweets animal memes funny tweets funny animal memes
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