'He said I had a work ethic and attitude problem and I didn't get fired for nothing': Entitled woman demands job from BF's brother, keeps getting rejected

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 7, 2023 3:00 PM EST

"Your own story makes me think you'd be a risk," one commenter told this entitled job-seeker. Sometimes Reddit posters on r/AmItheA****** don't give the whole story in their post, because this person has some serious issues with workplace behavior that she just brushes off. 

In this post, u/boasoas is asking if she's in the wrong for a situation that arose after she lost her job. Job loss is horrific, but you have to be strategic about your next moves. For this OP, she badgered her boyfriend's family. The post is so cringey, as she types out her conversation with Kieran, her boyfriend's brother, it's crystal clear that he's being so polite while telling her to knock it off. She's desperate for a job, but there are major reasons why one might not want to employ this OP. Commenters searched through her post history and found a treasure trove of employment secrets that the OP happened to leave out of the AITA post. With this enlightening information, commenters deemed her the a******. The OP wrote that she already has two new jobs, she just doesn't like them. Maybe she'll read through the comments and apologize to her boyfriend's family before it's too late. 

After you scroll through this wild story, check out these people who also believe they're the main characters in their own lives, and want everyone else to get out of their way. 

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  • 01
    Product - "You don't keep pushing after the first 'no' when you're the one asking for a favor."
    via Medienstürmer on Unsplash.com
  • 02
    Font - r/AmIthe Aste Posted by u/boasoas AITA for asking my BFs brother for a chance of a job when I'm desperate?
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 03
    Font - I've had a bad few weeks- I've just lost my job due to a misjudgment on my part. My company overreacted, in my opinion, and dismissed me. I've had to accept this and move on but it's been hard. To keep afloat, I've got 2 minimum wage jobs in unrelated areas. I've only just started them and already absolutely hate them! They are boring and brutal, I'm quickly eating into savings and I'm desperately looking for something similar to before. I'm applying for jobs but nothing yet. It's awful a
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 04
    Font - My BF "Dave" and his older brother "Kieran" both work at the same company, but in different functions. Kieran is more senior and has been there longer. Dave hasn't been there long and got the job through his brother. We went to his parents for dinner the other night. Kieran and his GF were there too. I've always got on well with all of them and they know my situation and have generally been supportive.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 05
    Font - It came out (accidentally, which stung a bit) that there is a vacancy at their company, similar to my previous job. I asked about it and Dave couldn't help, hadn't known about it, didn't know the people involved or what the job was.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 06
    Font - Kieran did know and could have helped but was non-committal and vague but I kept asking and he provided more details. I thought I could definitely do it and was really enthusiastic. I asked him if I could apply and he wasn't keen at all and said he didn't think it was a good fit and not my thing. He knows anything would be at the moment!
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 07
    Font - I said it sounded perfect and I wanted to apply and asked him to put a good word in for me. He still didn't sound happy about it and kept making lame excuses. He said it was a different department, he wasn't the hiring manager and couldn't influence it, I was free to apply but he couldn't really recommend me. I asked why not as he'd recommended Dave for a job in a different department. Then his mum got involved, backing me up, saying family was important and I was a great worker.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 08
    Font - He argued for a bit with us, then said he'd not had concerns about Dave, he did about me! After everything that's happened, and thinking he was on my side, wow! I got annoyed and probably shouted a bit and asked him what he meant.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 09
    Font - He said I had a work ethic and attitude problem and I didn't get fired for nothing and he wasn't prepared to harm his own career recommending someone who he had concerns about! He said family loyalty also meant me not harming him at work! I couldn't believe it and said so. His mum agreed with me and there was a big row, us v Kieran.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 10
    Font - Then Dave also got involved and asked his mum to back off and me to leave it which was even more hurtful. We left soon after and Dave is now annoyed with me for 'causing' the fight. All I'm trying to do is get back on my feet and be given another chance and I feel so unsupported. We had another fight and he blames me for that. AITA?
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 11

    Now for context, this is what the OP posted about their workplace blunder.

    Font - r/LegalAdviceUK Posted by u/boasoas 1 month ago Went on holiday while on the sick but boss saw pictures on Facebook. Locked I ran out of holidays from work and got option of last minute holiday so called in sick for 5 days. Lots of people do this. I'm not linked to anyone at work on Facebook but turns out one of my friends is and my manager has now seen posts with pictures of me on holiday. I know she's seen them because she's made a comment but I don't know what if anything she's going t
    via r/AmItheA******

    Once commenters saw this in her post history, they quickly called YTA. 

  • 12
    Rectangle - Competitive_Pen_8534 Parta ipant [4] INFO: What actually happened when you got fired? I think this is important in order to judge. Edit after looking at your post history: YTA. You were fired for lying and taking sick days just to go on vacation. So your bf's brother knows that you are an unreliable employee. And you want him to put his reputation with the company on the line just to recommend you? That's unbelievably selfish. You claim to be a hard worker, but your work history prov
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 13
    Font - or Mission-Jaguar3465 YTA I agree with you but this is so much worse. OP is UK based. A few points need to be noted here for non-UK people that make this much much worse: 1. Including bank holidays you have more than 30 days off per year. You worked there for almost 2 years so you would have both known the company culture and had the full annual leave at the start of the year. 2. You were in a union. It's almost impossible for union members to be fired unless the company is conducting mas
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 14
    Font - They did not overeact. You admit through comments and posts that there was some past behaviour that was raised by the company. You lied about being sick for 5 days. Given that sick leave is fully paid or partly paid (depends on a few factors) you essentially tried to defraud the company at the same time. Your coworkers would have had to pick up the slack and also this was just before Christmas so this makes you even more TA.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 15
    Font - Penultimately, and I could go on for hours, you are upset that someone wouldn't jeopardise their career so that someone who is clearly unreliable could coast away in a nice new job, where you would, let's be honest , conduct yourself in the same manner again because you know that your boyfriend's big brother can bail you out. Finally, you are unreliable as a narrator, I looked at your past posts and comments, you claim to have been fired 7 DAYS AGO and in that time have found, applied and
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 16
    Font - Admit the truth, at least to yourself, THEY WERE RIGHT TO FIRE YOU. Apologise to Kieran and take this as a learning experience.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 17
    Font - IFeelMoiGerbil Oh I knew it was sick days to go on holidays caught via FB 'it was an overreaction' OP again as soon as I read the opening. YTA. They are h bent on digging the deepest employment hole in history from their many posts. They are also British so I assume the only way they could look like a good employee is if the other candidate is Liz Truss. They have similar levels of denial yet confidence in themselves.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 18
    Font - briomio I think its very cheeky for you to push for a recommendation from Kieren when he was obviously reluctant to give it. He doesn't want to jeopardize his job plus his brother's job by giving a recommendation to someone with such a checkered employment history. Look elsewhere and please quit causing rifts among this family.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 19
    Font - Great_Succotash_5904 Hilarious. She justifies it saying lots of people do it. YTA OP. No way in ho he should vouch for you.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 20
    Rectangle - Fuhgetabout It would reflect badly on Kieran and Dave both if she were hired. They'd have to explain why they recommended a deadbeat who lies about sick time.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 21
    Font - Kurious-Ego13 Honestly even without the context I would have to say they were the a If he was standoffish about putting in a good word obviously had to have a good reason, and the fact they even told us he mentioned their attitude and work ethic would say as much. It's one thing informing someone of a job and quite another to endorsing their application. I will always tell someone of a job cause you have the right to work even if it's with me, but I have told people not to use me as a ref
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 22
    Font - lil-peanutbutter 20 days ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Dang. No wonder the brother wants no part of this mess. Causing a fight between the family just because she got told no is ridiculous. She is unreliable and her work ethics aren't where she says they are. Mom doesn't practice what she preaches about family being important though if she gets in the middle of it. Brother shouldn't be putting his name with someone unreliable and they should accept the no instead of having tantrums. YTA
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 23
    Font - greeneggiwegs I mean even without that info, Kieran isn't obligated to provide her with one and she made the situation extremely uncomfortable by pushing him and he eventually had to admit his true feelings. It could've been him just not knowing about her work ethic enough or just that he didn't want to. He's not obligated to refer her.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 24
    Font - AlpineHaddock This happened at my company some years back. A girl called in sick on Friday. Posted on Facebook "The weekend starts here!" and went out on a bender. Was FB friends with several people at the office, possibly including her manager. Was gone the following week. Definitely a YTA situation.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 25
    Font - janeyqw I would also say YTA. I didn't look into post history yet, but OP is 'Dave's' girlfriend, not wife. OP isn't actually related, yet. OP has to try and put yourself out there, and apply for jobs yourself. You can't expect someone to suggest you for a job if you don't show that you're actively trying to get a new job.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 26
    Font - OkSeat4312 Parta ipant [3] YTA-read the room! You don't keep pushing after the first "no" when you're the one asking for a favor. BTW-I wouldn't be hiring you either. Here's why... 1- you got fired due to a "misjudgment" and you say the company overreacted. By itself, I could give you the benefit of the doubt, but then...
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 27
    Font - 2) you aren't appreciative of the jobs you now have and you've only been there a few weeks. (Indicates a work ethic problem) 3) instead of accepting the civil and polite "no" that came from your BF's brother, you pushed it (another misjudgment, I guess?) Why do you think getting louder and arguing is going to somehow get someone on your side? All you did is prove the brother's point!
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 28
    Font - 4) Lastly, you bring it up AGAIN, this time with BF, probably complaining about his brother (who you railroaded) instead of accepting that maybe you have some growing up to do. Sorry OP, your own story makes me think you'd be a risk to take on.
    via r/AmItheA******

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